Taiyou no ao
by Gil-dae
Summary: One year after the war's end: Duo goes to find Heero after hearing he was to marry Relena Peacecraft, but all Heero can tell him is that it was unavoidable. So Duo has to start his life over, without Heero, but not without his memories.
1. Prologue

**Taiyou no Ao**

Beginning Notes:

Firstly, as you probably guessed, this story is yaoi. And yes, that means everything that comes along with yaoi. If you don't like bishounen getting it on with each other, then turn away right now. It's not even worth reading this story. I mean, it starts out with an R rating for a reason.

Secondly, it is DARK. It is depressing. I can't assure you that all characters will end up in one whole piece or even alive at any time throughout the story! So, don't like seeing dear Duo or precious Heero beat up on themselves or each other (in many ways), you may also exit.

Now, whoever is reading this I do hope you enjoy it. It's a plotbunny, so who know's where it will go. I DON'T! But just bear with me on this, okay? Hopefully this bunny won't get too out of hand.

Hope you like it!

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**Prologue **

The bar was full to crowding that night, as I sat in my corner and watched the steady flow of people. I had no drink, choosing to remain sober until my companion came inside. I knew this meeting would be our last, and one I needed to keep all memories of. Instead, I contented myself with watching the crowd as they hurried in and out of the small place, in this tucked away town on the border of the Sanc Kingdom. There was a wide assortment of people, and most buzzing with news of the marriage of the queen, Relena Peacecraft. They laughed with each other and whispered harsh rumors, spreading the news, truth and lie, through the entire complex. But, thankfully, I was left out of that mainstream of knowledge. Maybe my trench coat had succeeded in keeping these people away long enough for me to get in a few words in private with someone. I had known this was the center of town (which, in my opinion, was nothing good to speak of for the town), but chose it as it was as the meeting point. I tipped down my sunglasses and peeked over the rims. Still, I saw no figure weaving through the people...as if he did not exist. That was his way, wasn't it?

_The thing called love disappears when it becomes solid._

_The answer you whispered from behind me. _

_Your__ back not overly jealous. _

_I fawn over you, pretending not to see it._

"Thirty minutes late; this isn't like you," I muttered. My insides churned for alcohol to calm my raging mind, but my heart told me otherwise, and forced down the longing. I tucked my hands in my pockets and sighed, fidgeting in the booth where I sat. Surely I would be able to hear him when he entered, and he could pick me out. I mean, a year hadn't dulled his senses, had it?

I knew it hadn't dulled mine, for as the bell chimed at the door, I lifted my head, and immediately was able to pick out the short figure, a black stocking cap covering his mass of hair, shifting through the people. I could almost hear his grunts as he gently moved them aside, his quick apologies lost to most ears. As he neared, I suddenly wondered what I would say. I had planned so many scenarios over the past year of our next meeting, and yet none of them covered us greeting each other in a crowded bar where others could pry into our conversation. He pulled into view, and all functions ceased, my attention focused only on the figure drawing closer to me. It sat down on the chair across from me and waited, in silence. I watched his body's every move, the ripples in his finely made black shirt, how the jeans contrasted the fine material perfectly. He had not lost any of his attractiveness in the past year; he was still the same, fine boned, well-muscled, light teenager I had remembered. And his eyes had not changed those blue depths that glowed in the dim lights. My gaze moved downward as memory and imagination filled in how his legs looked, crossed as they were, his pants looser around his thighs then they were in the war days but still tight enough to accent his muscles...

I cursed my own tight pants and shifted in my chair.

_We won't need words if we can seek the night together._

_We won't need love, to go to a darkness with no place to step._

The silence fell between us, until he broke it with the one word I have least expected out of his mouth, though I should have been prepared for it.

"Well?" In Heero Yuy's traditional fashion, he brought a question out first, direct and ready to turn the talking over to me. I stammered for a moment, searching for words to tell him. "You called me here, so do you have anything to say?" _So many words, Hee-chan,_ but my mind would not process them.

"Well sorry if I didn't know it was a crime to want to talk to a friend," I retorted as best I could, lowering my glasses down. "But obviously, you have more important matters. What, spending some quality time with ole' Relena there?" Anyone who had not spent as much time around Heero as I had would have noticed no change in his posture, but I saw the muscles on his neck twitch, just the slightest, at the mention of that name. His cold eyes softened ever so slightly.

"Duo," he whispered, reaching across the table towards me. My fingers itched to stretch the distance and touch his skin again. I gritted my teeth and watched the hand with indifference. "One year," Heero said.

"One year, yeah, no fucking deal," I said, throwing back my hands. "It was paradise for you, engaged to the queen of the world, or whatever she is now." I reached down and picked at the material of his shirt. "How could you wear something that nice, really? I mean, in a year, you going from wearing shit to the finest shirts your darling can purchase for you. What, my gifts not enough?" He pulled back with his shields up fresh around his eyes. The ice from my voice slipped into him, I could tell.

"And you think I enjoyed it?" he asked. "You think it's a walk in the park?"

_When I awoke, by my side was your face I've grown tired of seeing._

_It's too much for you, all worn out._

"Why isn't it?" I asked. "You look as happy as a rose, _Hee-chan_. Life's paradise; I mean, you go from a soldier on the run, an assassin of the highest rank...and death count, to the lover of Relena Peacecraft, diplomat extraordinaire. Was the devil you used to run with not enough?" My voice faltered. "You didn't have enough, I suppose. Or you had enough fucks out of me, even if you had called it love at one point in time."

"Is this why you came, to berate me about leaving you?" Heero spat. I looked up, and hoped the tears I felt were only an illusion. "So I left you. Yeah, our love was past, Duo, past. We had different paths to take; we walked our own road and it was time to separate. We were comfort in the war..."

"No, Heero, you know what I came for?" I half-shouted. "I came to tell you again that I loved you, all right? I came to see you before everything became legal between you and that spoiled queen you have for a wife. I came, just for everything to be back the way it was, Heero, before you left. But, I mean, I suppose that love didn't survive the test of time on both sides. It was a futile mission from the start." I turned away so as not to look at Heero, see those unfeeling eyes. I knew I had made a mistake coming here. In my mind, it had always been an image of Heero rushing towards me, collapsing into my arms, as we mended the hurts between us. I guess by now I should have learned my imagination always lied.

"Do you think my love is gone, then?" Heero whispered. My gaze fell to the ground beneath me. "Duo, look up, it's not good to see you...I can't stand this! Do you honestly think that I don't love you? What..."

"One year was so long," I begged. Now it was my turn to reach for him, take his hand in my own. "I'm sorry if it offends you, but I couldn't stand it any longer. I had tried to get you out of my head, but nothing is ever enough." I waited for his words, that final dismissal; at least it would be something.

"I'm going to marry Relena, Duo," he said. "Why did you have to come back, bring those memories back? Don't you know that...that if I needed to choose, I would take your hand and run as far as I could. Duo, I do love you. But, I..."

"Why then?" I shouted. "Why'd you leave me for her? What, you afraid to be in love with an orphan rat who lives off running a scrap metal shop on L2, of all places? Afraid to accept your feelings, is that it? Or do you just love her more and don't want to tell me that to my face! Come on, just say it Heero! Say it!"

I guess I could say he said it. He grabbed my head and pushed my lips on his. The shock running through me, coupled with the thrill of having his lips on mine once more stopped me from fighting back, even if we were in public. I melted into his kiss, letting a few tears slip down my cheek. I had...I had seen this in my mind, felt his lips as I had remembered them, but it was nothing like this. His hands trembled as he held my face, and the moisture staining his cheeks slipped between our lips. His tongue brushed my lips, and I pulled away.

"Don't use me," I spat. Heero sat back, choking back the tears on his features.

"Can't you accept that maybe not everything I do is without love? I love you, Duo! Do I have to make it any clearer? Just listen for once. I haven't deserted you, so accept it, please! I beg you to only listen to me. I couldn't handle being brushed off...like that. Please, Duo, don't fade like that."

_The cold night froze even the cold moon_

_The moon sank and lit up the cold sea._

Looking into Heero's eyes, I faltered, and my exterior failed. Here was the Heero I knew, confused, lost as he had been for those years of war. That was the Heero I had been drawn to, even loved. I turned away, out of shame at that figure. He...he was no longer mine, right?

"This was stupid," I whispered. "I'm just bringing back old demons, and now those should be gone. They have to be, for you to love your little princess, right Heero. I guess we could talk for a while, though, maybe...as old friends?" Heero cupped my face in his hands.

"I won't think of you as a friend unless I think of you as a lover. But, if you want to talk, I will accept that offer. But, maybe I can find a nicer place for us to talk then...well, this. I have a place in mind, if you don't care." My jaw must have dropped to the floor, for Heero burst into laughter, the deep sound reverberating through me. He stood in a quick motion, as he always had, and extended his hand. "Now, is this without love?" If I had been smarter, I would not have reached out for that hand, let him take my palm. But he whisked me from my seat and we were gone, hand in hand out of the door and down the street, pushing through the thinning crowds of people. In one instant, all hate dissipated, and once more I was by Heero's side, where I had believed my place was.

_Be a flower, be a butterfly, prick me with the poison thorn_

_The sinful time can't destroy the hourglass, _

_The dream of primary colors spread out, the balance lost_

_The sinful feelings can't destroy the hourglass._

Heero turned a corner and we found ourselves in the higher-end part of town. Heero's destination was at the end of one corner, where a high-class hotel sat, the lobby lights comforting. We ascended the flight of stairs to the building. Heero gave a nod to the bellhop at the door as we entered the lobby. While I gaped at the plush carpets and high ceilings, arching up to a point at the ceiling, with columns on the walls, Heero strode forward to the counter and placed a reservation. I walked to one wall, covered in beautiful paintings, and marveled at the collection. All of the colors, mixing together, a perfect blend in a world of ideals. I wanted to bow to those works, seeing the artist's names below them, but a hand around my waist guided me away.

"Come on and stop gawking," Heero whispered in my ear. "This isn't that nice."

"You've seen better, then?" Heero chuckled and nuzzled my neck. Shivers ran down my spine. He ran his hands down my thighs and shoved me into the elevator. It was empty now, and Heero spun around to face me. His fingers traced circles down the material of my pants, and I groaned, reaching for him. I took his face in my hands and our lips met. Now there was no hesitation as his tongue begged for the cavity of my mouth again. I reached for the buttons of his shirt and almost had it off when there was a ding, and the elevator came to a stop. We pulled away, finding ourselves at the top floor. Heero gave me a sideward glance through half-closed eyes and beckoned for me to follow, using his shirt as bait as it trailed behind him. I followed, a grin plastered on my face.

"Well, this is a change in you," I said. "I think this is Heero I remember." Heero pulled a room key from his pocket and inserted it in the lock. But, faster then I could reach him, he was inside, with the key, and the door locked back. I pulled on the handle but it would not open. "Hee-chan, what's the idea?" Noises came from the other sides, a rustling of sheets. I banged on the door. "Come on, open up. What cha doing in there?" There was a swooshing sound, and something flew past my foot under the door. It was the key. I slipped it into the door and entered.

Heero was sprawled across the bed, a glass of wine in one hand. Sheets barely concealed his naked body, and he wore a small smile on his lips. The four-poster bed he sat in dwarfed him, being that this room was obviously one of the nicest suites in the hotel. He shifted his weight, and the sheets slipped off one of his legs. He took a sip of wine and studied me over the glass.

"Welcome, Duo Maxwell," he cooed. "Come, take off that coat. You look a bit hot in that. I approached the bed, and he pulled me down. I sat on the edge. He slipped the coat off me, wrapping his bare legs around me. I gasped as he rubbed against me, losing the sheet in the process so that his bare flesh was against me again. He slipped off my shirt, placing kisses down my back. "Isn't that better?" Heero laughed against my skin. He slid my pants off, along with my boxers, leaving me just as naked as he was. Then, Heero pulled away, scooting to the other side of the bed. I turned to find him straddling a large feather pillow. He grinned at me and slid along it, groaning as he did.

"How could you be so..."

"Seductive?" Heero laughed. "Well, I thought for once we should change our positions, you know." I grinned and pounced on him, throwing him backwards.

"Really now?" I said. I traced the lines of his collarbone with my lips. "In what ways?"

_The wounds are too deep, I lose sight of what's before me,_

_Just watching that figure_

My hands ran down his thighs, those well-muscled legs that had enticed me so many years before. This was a dream, I knew. It had to be a dream as I licked the skin of his stomach, and he groaned Japanese curses at me. He laughed and rolled over, forcing me to the bottom. His hands reached for my braid, and he pulled free my mass of hair. It stayed in the form of the braid, but not for long, as he crept off me. He threw a pillow at my face, and I sputtered, pulled away from my delirium. When I threw it off my face, a new enchanting sight greeted me. Heero slunk to one of the poles of the bed, rapping himself around it. I sat spellbound as he wove around it, my mind spinning. I could not even think that the man in front of me, enticing me, begging for me to come near to him was indeed going to marry Relena Peacecraft that I was anything but his lover. He reached for his cock and ran his hands down it. Those hands...they could be my hands because I was in love with Heero; I was the one who held his affections, the only one in his eyes. I sprang forward and threw him off the bed, tumbling to the floor with him. He laughed and cried, tears slipping from his eyes as our love-making became even more desperate. Yes, this was Heero!

"My lover," I whispered. "Just mine, Heero." He purred like a cat as I suddenly took his cock in my mouth. He let out a howl. Heero, I thought, yes, Hee-chan. You do love me, I know Heero. You are too faithful to a person to dare do this if you really loved Relena.

_We won't need words if we can seek the night together._

_We won't need love, to go to a darkness with no place to step._

But the moment was gone too soon. I pulled away, gasping, and Heero said nothing as he regained his senses. All I could think of was the angel in front of me, the way his chocolate locks of hair stuck to his face, how his long lashes closed over his eyes, the sweat glittering on his skin. Neither of us dared to move, me caught in the beauty of Heero, Heero lost in his own world. And it was in that one point in time I recreated a dream. Before, I had felt that this was a new time for both of us (and not just because of Heero's...previously unheard of actions). It had not felt like before, when our love was the only thing we had. But sitting there, waiting for him to say something, let me remember what it was like in the forests, on the run, sitting on a cot shaking half of the room with our lovemaking, even...even once in Deathscythe. Here, what was Relena but an object far off? We had the war, and ourselves, and our Gundams. Heero was...

"Duo?" Heero whispered. "Do you love me?" I sat up and looked upon him. He pulled himself into a sitting position.

"What?"

"Do you love me?" I stared, dumbfounded at him for a moment, before remembering to shut my mouth.

"Why would I say otherwise?" I said. "Of course I do, and you know that! I wouldn't have come all the way back here if I didn't feel something for you." Heero nodded, looking towards the floor. He picked at a piece of carpet, hiding his eyes with his bangs. What was this, now?

"I suppose so," he sighed. "You know, I love you, Duo. I always have and always will. Don't think my love is any less now that...well, some things cropped up in my life, Duo. It's not that I don't love you, not that at all! Just...I can't explain it to you right now, but due to certain factors, this is the only option I have. But, can you hear me out? You are...the light in my life, Duo..." I tilted my head, beginning to suspect something. I had not heard such...sap out of Heero, not even the first night he told me of his love. This was not like him at all. Either he was about to tell me something I would not love him for afterwards, or... "Every moment of looking upon you brings more joy to my life. I can barely suppress the love inside of me. It's all so beautiful, knowing you, Duo. You've made my life...I don't know. A bit hard, having to control myself, you know." He looked up through his bangs for the first time, and I saw a smirk on his face. There was only a fraction of a second before he pounced on me.

"So hard to control, just like now," he whispered. "Your turn," he laughed, and all coherent thought began to fade under Heero's hands.

_Prick me with the thorn of a love, not loved and unable to love._

_Writhing in agony, aren't you ashamed to be so indecent?_

_You'll never be the same again but pour the sweet saliva._

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That morning I woke to find Heero gone, but on the bed, where he had slept was a bracelet. There were two charms on it, one an angel's wing, the other a demon wing. There was no note, but it needed no words. That symbol was enough to speak volumes for both of us.

I departed that morning on the first shuttle I could find to L2. Obviously, someone had already paid for a flight, reserved under the name Duo Maxwell. I spent no more time in the Sanc Kingdom, and only looked back once. But that one time, I thought I heard on the wind a soft voice. Maybe it was a trick of my emotions, but I new I heard catch a few words in whispered Japanese, a confession. I stared across the landscape, as the shuttle lifted from the ground, and soon, that kingdom was far behind me as I sped into space, towards my final destination.

The bracelet was clenched tight in my hand.

_Be a flower, be a butterfly, prick me with the poison thorn_

_The sinful time can't destroy the hourglass, _

_The dream of primary colors spread out, the balance lost_

_The sinful feelings can't destroy the hourglass._

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Well, the insert song throughout that was Audrey, by Dir en Grey. And if you haven't heard it, you need to. It's a great song! In fact, just listen to anything by Dir en Grey! They are so awesome! And as another note, the title of the story is also the name of a Dir en Grey song. It means "blue of the sun." Go listen to that too!

Please review! Comments would be much loved!


	2. Chapter 1

** Chapter 1**

Well, next chapter. So, it's been five years since the prologue. Duo hasn't heard anything of Heero since then, avoiding the news just so he doesn't have to hear about "Relena and her dashing husband." He moved back to L2 and had many jobs in those five years, settling finally as a teacher. But even this is on rocky ground for him.

I must say "sorry!" for the strange section breaks in the story. Fanfiction is so cruel; now, with the Quick Edit, I can't put in normal breaks. Ugh!

I hope you like this chapter!

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

**+Five Years Later+  
**

"Mr. Maxwell, just a moment with you." The sound of the soft voice of the principle of the school made me cringe. I looked up from my desk, where I was grading papers, and saw the wizened figure standing in the doorway. I scrambled to help her to one of the rickety seats in the class. She sighed as she sat down before turning her attention to me. I knew I had it in for me this time, if she made the trek all the way across the building to the lower level where I taught. I set down my pen and waited for her to speak, holding back the bile in my stomach. Surely, this could not be another time. I mean, twice in two years...she couldn't do that to me.

"Mr. Maxwell, I have found that much of the faculty does not like your...lax attitude towards work. They find that you are not pulling your weight around the school. Not that you are a bad teacher necessarily, but that you do not bring a...good feeling to this atmosphere." I nodded slowly. Yep, those were words I had heard far too often, and they only meant one thing.

"I am sorry then," I said. "I could change my ways, if you need that. I do love teaching here, so if there are any problems I would not mind at all fixing them." The principle whose name was...oh, yes, Demis, Anne Demis, sighed.

"That is not what I mean, Mr. Maxwell. It is just that, I think this school is not a good fit for you. The students do love you, but these are children who come from some of the harshest areas of L2. They don't need a sympathizer, but a teacher, someone who can show them what to learn and how to live through their lives." I bristled in my seat, suddenly wishing the old woman would die off. I mean, she was already on enough meds to fill a truck, so why didn't she croak already.

"So you're firing me, then?" Demis laughed.

"You do know how to get to the point, I must say," she said. "And, I suppose that 'yes' is my answer. We are working on disciplining students here, and your attitude does nothing to reinforce what they learn in their other classes." I gulped back the words stuck in my throat, hoping that none of them escaped, but my large mouth could not swallow all of them.

"So what, you're firing me because I have a heart and am not a stick-up-the ass teacher like the rest here?" That sent old Anne Demis for a spin. She started and held a hand to her chest. I almost felt sorry for her, the way she sat there, catching her breath with her tired lungs. "I try to give these students a place where they can be themselves. I know what it is like for them; I was there once, Mrs. Demis. Their lives are fucked up enough, so I'm letting them have some peace!" Mrs. Demis coughed loudly. She reached into the bag by her side and pulled out a sheet of paper. I read over it, my formal firing notice, and saw she had already signed it. All left was for me to sign on the dotted line, and that would be it for me.

"This is a correctional school for challenged and underprivileged children, funded by education committee of L2. We have no place for a teacher such as you, Mr. Maxwell. Our mission is to guide these young people to a brighter future by teaching them, showing them how to behave in society. Your contract will end in three days, Friday. You will have the weekend to clear out your classroom, and I expect it to be cleared. Do not worry over your students, though, since it does seem you have such a large heart for them. A new teacher is coming, and he will do a fine job in continuing the lesson plan." Mrs. Demis rose stiffly, holding onto the chair. She looked at me as if I would help her to the door, but in my stubbornness, I made no move to. She shuffled to the door and shut it behind her, leaving me alone in the room with the notice of my firing glaring at me from the desk.

"God-dammit!" I whispered, pounding the desk. Once more, I had lost my job, once more because people couldn't stand me. I couldn't believe this! This school was already under funded and lacked in teachers and they were willing to give me the boot. Hadn't they accepted me on the premise of thinking I would know better how to treat these children. Most of them were so fucked up that school wasn't doing a thing for them. Did these people think they could storm into these children's lives and tell them "this is what to do, now go." Of course not! They were the trash of L2, the bottom of the bottom, and bringing in teacher's from the highest elite of L2 would not help them one bit. That's why I came on, and why I was now leaving. I looked down at the papers in front of me, the student's stories I had assigned them to write only a week ago, and could not bring myself to grade any more of them.

"Well, this place wasn't paying anyway," I said, grinning. "Best to bust this joint now, I guess. There's better jobs out there for me."

But unfortunately, I could not bring myself to believe that. Sure, I had been successful at some things in the five years I have now been living in L2. I mean, my junk garage was a bust, but after that, I was successful—if you called prostitution and successful job. Oh and what about being a paid assassin for a while? Then a professional blackmailer. Yep, successful, I'd say. Teaching had been one of the few professions I could think of that would do me any good and wouldn't get me in serious trouble with the law. And, it seemed logical I would hold onto a job, since L2 was in need of teachers. But, I suppose that once again, as it was on so many things, my logic was skewed. So it was back to unemployment for me, and back to the streets unless I could find a job. Rent was already two months behind, and bills...what bills?

I picked through my papers, shoving them into one of the drawers of my desk. I hoped they would forget to clean that out and read them, someday, see what those students managed to pull off even if it seemed there was "chaos" in my room. I thought those students were finally making progress, but I suppose what I think of, as progress is not enough. I rested my head on the desk, looking across the sea of desks, empty of the students that once filled them. Over there, in the corner of the class, sat the little girl who always slept during class, and up in the front was the boy who would always ask why my hair was so long, and the other one, a child of an orphan, whose writings often times moved the class to tears. There were so many memories buried here, so many lives screaming for...something more then they had. Was it enough?

I stood, leaving my belongings beside the desk, and stormed from the room, too infuriated to look back. Once outside of the building, the fading evening light of the artificial sun was a comfort. I waited outside the building until I could regain my senses. People drug their feet along this road, tucked away in the slums of L2. They wore tired expressions on their faces as they passed, looking towards the ground instead of ahead. As if in a dream, each of these people lived and breathed and died here in the slums, holding the weight of so much yet never allowed to crumble below it. I slipped into the crowd and made my way to the bus stop. Already, there was a crowd around the pole. I turned away and paced back and forth while I wanted for the bus, in no mood to speak to anyone and too impatient to enjoy this quite time to myself. Finally, the bus pulled to a stop in front of me, and I got on, collapsing into the first seat I could find.

At the second stop I got off in front of my apartment complex. It was a dilapidated place, half of the windows missing, the bricks on the outside crumbling. I walked up the steps, which had holes in the concrete, and through the entrance. As usual the halls were filled with the noises from the tenants. I made my way to the rickety elevator at the end of the hall and prayed it was in working order today. Or maybe, if it wasn't, it would go the other way and plunge in the solid concrete below. That wouldn't be so bad, now would it.

"Don't have a job, have an empty apartment," I muttered, climbing into the elevator. I pressed the button for the third floor. "Yeah, it would break. This has just been that day."

"What day?" a cold voice asked from behind. I had not seen any other figures in the elevator, but sure enough, I turned to see the landlord behind me. He was a large man, old, balding, with a dirty face and cloths that never fit right. "Lose another job?" I growled and spun around on him, my temper flaring. "Don't get so angry, Duo," he purred. "If you can't pay the rent, you know how we can solve that." He advanced on me, but the elevator dinged before he could put a pudgy hand on me.

"Not now," I said. "If I don't find a job, yeah, I'll do that, but until then, no." I stormed out of the elevator, but the landlord's voice followed me.

"I'm waiting for that ass, Maxwell," he shouted. "By the end of the week or you're out of here." His laughter followed me all the way down the hall to my apartment. I stuck my key in the door and slammed it behind me, glad to be back in the one haven I had in this world. I flicked the light switch, and the lamp to my right lit up. I shed my shirt and threw it on the couch, too tired to care about keeping the place clean. I made my way to the miniscule kitchen and pulled a loaf of bread out the fridge. I stuck a piece in my mouth and collapsed into a chair at the table.

"Let's see, shit for the day," I said. "Well, I lost my job. My landlord's out for a fuck. And..." I looked at the empty chair on the other side of the table. "Heero," I whispered, unable to hold back. My whole body shook as memories came back, for another round of "destroy Duo."

For some people, five years was too long to hold back hope, think any more about another person. But to me, five years was nothing. It was simply a count of the time away from him, which, in other words, was time that did not matter. It was only a few days to have to live through, mindless hours to slave until I saw his face, those deep eyes glaring at me from under his lashes, his smiles, his laughter. I guess you could call him my first love and my last. There was no man that I would ever love as much as him and no man to take his place. He was that...as corny as it sounds "special someone," always talked about but never specified. But he had other plans in mind, other dreams waiting. He took the hand of Relena Peacecraft, diplomat extraordinaire, able to keep together world peace, forger of so many alliances in this time of happiness...only because if something was not her way she threw a tantrum. She had wanted Heero, like a beautiful glass toy, and took him. He accepted her "love" and her money, wealth, bribes. They were off somewhere, a happy couple, probably with a young child to call their own. They were a happy family of the spotlight. I could see Heero sitting upon the grass of an expansive lawn, watching a little girl with yellow ringlets run across it and back to his lap. Beside him sits Relena, smiling her cruel, sweet smile, her hands around Heero's waist...Heero...my Heero...

"But he's no longer mine." He slipped away. I let him leave that morning without a fight, let him give me a bracelet and nothing more, a parting gift to say 'get out of my life, Duo.' I was the forgotten one, a scrap to be swept away once it came time to clean the house. Heero had done so, that's for sure. Because here I was, back to the trash, back to L2. Every day was clockwork, a mechanical dream world where I went through my activities without thinking. Thoughts always brought me pain, like now.

"So I need to stop thinking," I told myself. I took another bite of bread. First, I need to get a shower. I felt so dirty, so tired. After that, I can read a book for a while. Then eat dinner. Then sleep. Tomorrow, I will return to the unemployment office, see if they have any openings for a teacher somewhere, anywhere. I'll avoid my landlord. I could go back and teach my class, but since I was leaving on Friday, I felt there was no need to. They could have that time free, do what they wished, and write another story, maybe. I did not know and did not care.

"Off for a shower," I told myself, grinning. My face contorted into that smile and kept it until I reached the safety of the bathroom, where I no longer felt someone could see.

Only then, did I break down in tears and cry.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

"I can teach, if there's any openings anywhere like that," I begged the man at the unemployment desk. He looked through the directories on his computer without saying a word.

"So you got kicked out of another job?" he said. "Haven't you been teaching, and needing to teach, for two years now?" I shrugged and gave a nervous laugh. I leaned on the counter and peered over at the computer screen, now searching the directories for a teaching position.

"Well, life's been a little rough."

"For all of us," the man agreed. The computer beeped and pulled up a list of jobs, amazingly long. "This seems the only field open these days. I don't know what it is, but this colony's getting worse and worse. We've been forgotten again. The economy hasn't been this bad since before the war." I looked away; the topic of the war was not one I loved to touch on, no matter if it was a casual discussion. "We were doing great for a while, right after the war's end. You remember that?"

"I was on earth then," I said. Yes, on earth, trying to sort out my life with Heero. "I came back a year after that, though, and it did seem better." The man gaped at me now. I stared at him, and he coughed, realizing what he had been doing.

"Just amazed you managed to get back to earth. I wish I could afford that flight. Wouldn't it be wonderful to get out of here?" I nodded and laughed, but inside I had little desire to ever set foot on earth again. How could I want to? It was on earth that I lost the greatest battle of my life. "So, what you interested in? I have an opening here for a high school English teacher." My face lit up.

"Where is it? I've taught English before. And I was hoping for high school."

"Not nearby. It's in the nice end of town; a private place for the nicest family's to send their children. They want an English teacher for the sophomore class. Of course, I don't know if they would like you to come there. Hate to break it to ya, Duo, but you're pretty out there." He pointed to my braid. "You could get the job; you have the smarts, but that braid might kill ya!" A lump formed in my throat. "But it pays a lot. You could get out of here easy. I think you need to move up, man. So will you accept it? They need the position filled before the weeks end, and you'll start two weeks after that." My whole body felt cold. I could see the nice end of town, knew what it offered me, but to lose my braid...the hair I carried with me all of my life...the hair Heero had so lovingly toyed with, braided and unbraided and ran between his fingers. I could not do that.

"I would take it, but..."

"All righty then," the man said with a smile. "It's always great to see your type move up. Here's the number to contact them. Call them up, since they want an interview first." I took the number with shaking hands. The man patted me on the back, almost knocking the wind out of me.

"Who said I wanted it?" I said, anger boiling inside me. "I don't know if I will accept, so what else do you have around here, maybe in the area?"

But the search was fruitless. There were no more openings the man could find for English, and I was not ready to teach any other subjects. Finally, I took the number and left, a chill running through my body that did not come from the warm August air around me. The man might have been joking about my braid, but what if he was not. Even the slightest jest regarding cutting my hair made my blood fill with ice. No one would make me part with this hair. Never. It carried so many memories in it I could not end those now. No, my hair was to stay. And that school would have to deal with it, if they did not like it.

"Well, back home I guess," I said. I stuffed the slip of paper into my pocket and made my way down the street. I had time to kill, so I took the long way home, walking instead of the bus. It was midday, so the streets were not near as crowded as in the mornings or the evening time.

This part of town wasn't bad, better then some places I had lived in my life. It was a little rough, but still held charm in it's own way. I walked by an apartment building with clothes hanging from the lines between buildings. Occasionally, someone would have dared to put a few flowers in front of a house, or up on a box in a window. The bright splotches of color, yellows and red, provided a nice change from the oppressive buildings. I knew there was one old woman, a few blocks down, that would always be out with her flowers. I could not help but smile when I walked by them. She always whispered to herself about her old lover, how he would tend to this garden every day, until he died. She whispered to herself, for the most part, but I heard her and smiled a genuine smile. Heero would have tended to those flowers every day also.

And flowers reminded me of a day, far back in my childhood. Rarely did I actually think back that far, to my time in Father Maxwell's church, but this was a rare moment. In around my second year there, Sister Helen put me in charge of tending to the garden. She showed me how to water the flowers, get rid of weeds. That garden consumed my life. I would spend hours amongst the beautiful flowers, loving their smell and the brightness of their colors. Weeks passed as I sat in that garden, laughing, naming each of the flowers with my own name for them, since I found the other names to be boring.

I looked up, realizing I had been staring at my feet this entire time, and found myself passing by my old school. I glowered at the prison-like setup of the place. A correctional facility is right. I suddenly thought about how much I hated that place, more then I hated most jobs. It was good I was moving, changing, I told myself. I increased my speed as I passed by the large fence where you could look inside and see the playground. But I did not go unnoticed. A child called out my name.

"Mr. Maxwell!" he shouted. I looked up to see one of my students, Robert, charging towards me. He stood by the gate and looked up at me with his wide eyes, the eyes of a child, for sure. "Mr. Maxwell, where have you been? You weren't in class today. We waited and waited but you didn't come, so Emily got up and taught the class. We wrote a story about you, Mr. Maxwell. It's on the blackboard! You should read it; it's very good. And Emily drew a picture to go with it. Mr. Maxwell!" I bent down to his level.

"I..." What was I supposed to say? That I was fired and was never coming back? That they would no longer be able to see me, ever again? That face was so expectant, so full of admiration. How could I let it down? "I didn't feel well today, Robert. I'm sorry. And I don't know when I will be back. The school will have a substitute for you, though. I've heard he's good." My insides churned.

"But Mr. Maxwell," Robert whispered, "we want you to teach us. You are a good teacher, not a bad teacher. You helped me save mommy when daddy was doing bad things to her. You helped Emily, and Joseph, and all the others. Please, Mr. Maxwell." Tears gathered at the corners of Robert's eyes. I was amazed to see that. So few of these children cried, having learned from before that it only hurt more. But Robert was crying now. "I want you back, Mr. Maxwell!"

"Robert, I really am sorry. But something has come up, you know, and I can't do that now. I can't teach you. I wish I could, Robert, I do, but..."

_"...well, some things cropped up in my life, Duo. It's not that I don't love you, not that at all! Just...I can't explain it to you right now, but due to certain factors, this is the only option I have..."_

"But Mr. Maxwell..." Robert tried to reach through the links in the fence, but I backed away. He looked up at me as I stood, cursing myself for being so ignorant.

"I have to go now, Robert. You keep working hard, along with all the rest of the class. I'll see you someday." I felt ready to vomit, looking at the crying child below me. He strained as if to break the gate, calling out my name, but I turned away from him to calm the bile in my throat. I knew what I was doing to him, lying like that! Of course, I would never see him. I knew what Robert felt like, hearing such encouraging words from someone, believing them with all his heart. But they were empty promises, things to be toyed with, without weight. What a hypocrite I was! I stormed away from the fence and down the road, each step testament to my anger. I was a fool, and this life was not working. I knew that. Maybe that man was right. It was time for change, before I dug myself a deeper hole. Things were happening to me, and this life was only going to destroy me.

But how could I have told Robert that I was leaving that school that needed so much, for a better job. How could I explain that it was not my fault I was going? None of them, my students, would understand. So many people had told them they were leaving, for one reason or another, and now was another person that was going to forget them. How could I say I was going to find a better job out there, because this one was not paying enough...

"But who said I was taking that one?" I mumbled to myself as I stormed inside my apartment complex. "It's all the way on the other side of town. I don't have enough money to afford an apartment over there, and I can't commute that far every morning..." I sighed. I needed to make money from now until when I called them and, hopefully, could take the job.

I let the elevator carry me to my apartment. I shuffled inside and collapsed on the couch, too tired to even make it all the way to my bed. Once there, I fell into a deep sleep where not even Heero could touch me.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I had not been out into another part of town in a while and decided that to help my attitude, I needed to eat out for dinner. But things rarely went as I planned them. As I waited for the bus to come, a man walked up to me. He was dressed like a business man, and looked pleased with himself. I could easily guess where he came from, knowing there were few men of any stature that came here after dark (and it was well after dark) that did not reside here. Unfortunately, he approached me.

"Do you know how I could get back to the Ohjinke station from here?" he asked. I thought for a moment, studying his clean-shaven face.

"Well, take this bus all the way to the end of its route. I know that probably makes you cringe, but don't worry. That part isn't that bad for long. Once you get out of there on the next bus that comes through, it gets better. That bus should have a stop to the station." I paused, looking the man over. "It's surprising to see someone like you here. You lost?" The man smiled and nodded. He was inching closer to me.

"Yeah, just stumbled through," he said. I heard that excuse many times before, in my earlier years living in this area of town. I knew that very few people "stumbled through" here without a purpose. Some of the most prized...and varied...prostitution rings worked through here, man, woman, child, a combination of all, whatever. And by the way this businessman eyed me, I could guess what he came for.

"That happens quite a lot," I said. One side of me wanted to play into this man's hands, earn some cash of my own, but the other side, the side worn by my new troubles and not ready to accept yet another, stopped me. I had tried whoring myself out once and found myself slitting my wrist almost every night, only to watch the blood dry and seal over (a cruel trick of nature, I must say). "I hope that you can find your way all right, though."

"So just get off at the last stop. All right, that's good," he said, grinning at me. "I don't know, though. I mean, I'm prone to losing my way, and maybe...well, how far are you going?"

"Not too far. I was planning on getting some dinner." _You need the money,_ one voice whispered in my head.

_Fuck off. _

"Someone waiting for you?" the man asked. "I was thinking about stopping someplace for a meal myself. What would you recommend?"

_Think about earning some extra cash. This is better then the landlord, no? _"I don't know. There's a pretty nice deli down a little ways. And no, it's just me," I said. The weight of those words broke my back though. Yes, it was only me. It had been that way for five whole years, never another that graced the threshold of my apartment with any intention of remaining. It had been so long since there was ever one who would have done that. Not even the friends I had made through these years ever stayed very long. And they were just friends to me, nothing more, nothing ever.

There was only one who had dared to work his way in my heart, and he was still a thorn wedged deep in my emotions. Like I would ever dare to let anyone else in, though. Some people might have called that clinging to hopeless love, but I could not let go, and would not. I touched the bracelet on my wrist.

"Well, maybe I should try that. By the way, the name's Mark. And you are?" I grinned a sly grin and inched just a little closer. He held out his hand for me to shake, and I took it, looking at him from under my eyelashes. I could tell he was beginning to bubble inside. I shook hands with him.

"Duo," I said. "I was thinking about eating there myself. Maybe you and I could...eat together. How does that sound? I would not mind spending some quality time together, if that is what you want." The man chuckled and leaned towards me. The bus was approaching, but he whispered in my ear.

"I'll pay well if you accept. You're quite a beauty." I smiled.

"I wouldn't do this if I didn't want money," I shot back. He righted himself and watched the bus slow to a stop. All the while, my two halves fought their final battle. But the side of me, ruthless, ready to claim much needed cash, won over. The other side was too emotional. I had no more room for emotions now. That would take up too much energy. Emotion was an extra, a frivolous item. For now, my emotions had to wait, since in the real world they would only slow me down. I slipped easily into my mask for the world and followed the man onto the bus. My emotions sat behind on the curbside, staring at my retreating back.

And so the cycle began again.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I have news! Guess what today is? Today, Feburary 17, is Kaoru-san's birthday! For anyone who doesn't know, he is the guitarist of Dir en Grey. And yesterday was Kyo-san's birthday; he's the vocalist. Ahem, yes, I admit I have a bit of an obsession problem. Just a little...ahem...

Thoughts about this chapter? Questions, comments, constructive criticism? GREAT! Drop a review then. They would be much loved and appreciated!


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Have you ever just stared at the wall, at the shadows as they dance across it? You can see everything in the shadows, all of the world, cars that rush by your window. I mean, you can trace a person in the shadow and see who they are, what they see of themselves. Shadows are a true reflection. In the shadow world, there is no sound to interfere with thinking, no reason to be terrified of the sights, for sights of all there is. Shadows can be memories, too, things that have already passed. The cars you see go before their shadows; shadows are only a memory. You can look into a shadow and almost see what happened in the past itself, long before, hints of some unknown dream from an unknown time.

I watched the shadows and saw blurry images of reality, smudges across what it should be. I stood in the shadows and saw through a tinted glass. I walked through them and felt the cold hands straining towards me to get a grasp on my skin. And now, as I sat in my dark apartment, lit only by the flickering light bulb in the kitchen, I watched the shadows over my bed, dance like spirits from another life. And maybe, they were spirits. I did not know, instead to busy watching as they drifted idly around each other.

I looked to my wrist, in hopes that I would see blood, but there were no fresh cuts upon it. I knew that any new scars would endanger my hopes of that job at the school. Still, the urge to feel that pain, slice along the old cuts, so that I could see them grow back, then cut them open again, just to feel their pain. I had done that before, remembered how blissful it felt to have that one center of pain. But now I was past that. I was no longer even allowed the dull throb as blood poured from my veins. The gods must have seen that as too much of a pleasure for me.

I got up from where I sat at the kitchen table and began to pace around the room. I had let my hair free from the braid, and had just finished brushing it, so the locks felt like silk as they brushed my back. I shook out my head and sighed.

A few hours ago I had just gotten off the phone to the nice secretary at the school...it was called the Richardson school of "excellence." She informed me that they could fit me in for an interview on Friday. Then, I would be led around, showed the school, learn what it is that they want from a teacher, and the headmaster would see if I fit that. My stomach was turning knots already. This was my big break, the "golden door of opportunity." It was only a little step to staring anew in my life. And I was quite aware of the fact that life was not working. I had lived for years in the shadows, attempting to drag my past behind me. It was time I leave. It was five years ago that I lost Heero. I should stop mourning the loss that was my fault as it was.

"How many times have I said that over the years?" I chuckled. I sat down in the living room, on the collapsing couch, and looked across the room. There was a small bookshelf sitting there, crammed full of books, photo albums, novels, some sketchbooks from long ago. I got up and pulled a book from one side. On the front of it were people's names scribbled on it. "Happy times! -Quatre. "Justice is returned –Wu-fei." "A celebration like none other –Trowa." "Wahoo! Drinks all around! –Duo." And then, simply to one side, Heero's name written in his flowing hand. I brushed the dust from the cover and opened it. On the first page was a picture of all of us, the five Gundams, standing in front of a lake smiling. I had my arm around Heero's neck, and he was even smiling. Under it read the caption "our first moments free." This...this was a collection of pictures we took the month after the war was over. It wasn't all smiles like this, as the book revealed as I flipped through. There were some pensive moments caught on camera, quiet moments, and then times like the first picture, where we could not help but enjoy ourselves. We had found a house by a lake and stayed there the whole month, to get ourselves sorted out, figure out what to do since the war was over. It was a tiny place, with barely enough room for all of us, but we never complained. Wu-fei left first, to return to his home in the colonies. Then Trowa and Quatre wandered away, together, to settle down. Heero and I were the only one's left after that.

That is where the majority of those picture were from, that last week Heero and I had to ourselves. Most of them were of Heero. I would take pictures of him sitting alone, reading, looking over the lake, swimming, whenever I could. He never seemed to mind, even giving the camera a smile sometimes.

Then...then one day he was gone. He said he was going for a walk and never returned to that cabin on the lake. I searched for him desperately, thinking he might have died somewhere in the woods, but in my heart I knew he had left, deserted me, and still walked the earth. I spent another week or two afterwards at that place, the grief of having him gone too much for me to bear. Then, I began my long search for the man who abandoned me.

I closed the photo book, blinking back the tears. Those smiling pictures of Heero were so beautiful. I wondered what he looked like now, hiding in the shadows to protect his dear Relena. Would he still have that glint in his eyes? Did his eyes soften for her, as she gave her speeches, sat in meetings? Was...was he happy?

"Of course he is," I spat. "That is what he wanted. And what I want is to forget him." I replaced the book and went to my bedroom. I had been pacing too long; what I needed now was sleep. Let dreams brush away these cruel ghosts of times gone by. Heero was no longer mine, and he was happier now then, he had ever been. What was I doing clinging to his memory? I was ready to forget, move on in my life, I told myself as I crawled under the covers and flipped off the light. He needed to be no more then a memory on a shelf. The time was right to tuck those memories in a little box and forget about them.

Wasn't it?

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I woke up, dug around in my closet, found the nicest suit that I owned (the only suit I owned), took a long showers, brushed my teeth, straightened out the mass of bangs atop my head, redid my braid, ate a whole two pieces of toast for breakfast, and was ready. I strode into the bathroom again, whistling to myself, forcing happiness on my body that was so unused to this treatment. I smiled for the mirror, at my clean appearance now. There were bags under my eyes, but they looked a little less dark as I grinned. I swung my braid from side to side, struck a commanding pose, and nodded. I was ready for my interview, for sure. I hoped I looked dignified enough for these people. But...the words of the man at the unemployment office came back. It was a high end place, and my braid had grown so long over the years now it ended halfway down my thighs. Still, as I fingered the tuft and the end of my braid, I wondered how I would cut it. It had been with me as long as I could remember.

"Well, so, for now then, it stays!" I announced. Flipping it behind my back, I bounced out of the apartment. Today I needed to rid myself of the air of grief that hung in a thick cloud around me before. Be happy, I told myself, enjoy life. This was my fresh start, my new life, one where I would leave behind sorrow. This was my time to live...

"Well, well, where are you going today?" my landlord called from down the hall. His pounding footsteps echoed up and down the hallway as I waited for the elevator. He grinned and slapped my ass. "You're looking quite fine today, Maxwell. Not going to the school, I don't think." The elevator doors opened, and I slipped past him, hoping the doors would close on him, but he entered the elevator also. My insides began to churn, but I smirked.

"To a job interview. And if all goes well, you won't have to worry about your rent. I'm moving out of here if I get the job, since it's a far distance away." The landlord nodded and advanced towards me. The stench of his body odor almost suffocated me, and I darted away from him. Still, he pressed against me and ran his hands over my crotch. He grinned as I stood still, my eyes narrowing. Not today, oh no, not today, not ever.

"Get your hands off me," I whispered. "I never promised you anything." With a flick of my wrist, I drove my fist into his gut. He staggered back, doubled over. The elevator stopped, and I left quickly, so as not to hear what he was shouting at me. I left the dingy apartment, dusting off my jacket, and a sad smile crossed my lips. That was the last time he would ever get a nice grope in on me. I was tired of being used.

As I walked down the street, slipping into the flow of people going to their jobs, I looked around. By mid-morning, most of the people had gotten to their jobs, but there were still some who were lucky enough and did not have to wake at the crack of dawn to have enough money to support themselves. And others were just coming home from their night jobs. Now those were sad looking people, dragging their feet, dirtied, weary, shying away from the bright light of day that they only saw in this trek from work to home. I smiled at them as they passed, in hopes that they would lift their heads, but none of them even looked towards me. Obviously my fake happiness was not shared in this part of town.

After a long bus ride and a ride through the subway system, I had left that part of town far behind. Now I was surrounded by others in suits, bustling about to their nice jobs behind safe desks in glass covered office buildings. I was amazed by this part of the town, the high-rise buildings, the beautiful streets, kept clean for once, a few trees even planted here and there. It was an astonishing sight, after living the past few years in the poorest slums of L2. I had almost forgotten such nice places existed; my only world had been one of darkness, damp despair.

More astonishing, though, was the school I came upon. Among all of the giant buildings was what looked like a castle from ancient times. It had a huge yard in front of it, with towering trees lining a walkway. A wrought iron fence surrounded it, with two automatic gates, on for foot traffic and one for cars. Out front there was sign, done in beautiful curving letters, reading "Richardson School of Excellence: strong education, strong foundation, strong life." I could barely make out the old building behind the autumn-tinted trees, and students milling about outside. They were dressed in uniforms, looked so elegant standing under the trees in their well tailored clothes. The gate swung open for me, and I made my way through the grass. Grass, what a special thing, touched with the finest cover of dew. The pathway leading from the gate was done with cobblestones, an almost non-existent form of stone-working. Tress swayed above me, casting shadows across the ground, the rich gold of the autumn leaves, astonishing me. My feet crunched on leaves, deep reds, yellows, some green even.

As I approached the school, a bell rang out. Students slowly made their way inside the large double doors, to a great foyer. I thought I could follow them inside, then find my way to the offices from there, but when I entered the hall, I realized that would be almost impossible. The students were all moving up either of three staircases, to a second level where classrooms were, or going down any of too many corridors spreading out from outside. I had thought this was a smaller school, but I realized that this was _the _most prestigious school on L2, so any family of wealth would want to send their students here. I did not know where I would go in all of this mess. So, I took my chances, and stopped one of the men passing by.

"Excuse me, but do you know where the offices are?" The boy, who was probably a senior, nodded and pointed down a corridor to the right.

"That way and to the left," he said in a smart, clipped voice, cultured and refined already. I felt my stomach sinking slowly. Even these students seemed so...refined, so cultured, so unlike I was. Surely they wanted a teacher who would be even more refined than the students, a teacher who had spent their lives in this type of atmosphere. This was a new world to me, one I was not used to. But I thanked him and moved away, shoving my way through the crowd of people.

The offices were located in a hall decorated by awards. Smiling faces looked down at me, students' who won awards of some type, or successful businessmen who had attended this school, or contributors able to give millions to the building and upkeep of the facilities. They all wore perfect white teethed grins, coats and ties, or the women had their hair done perfectly, shining in golds and browns. Scattered through those walls were offices. Most were empty, since they were for teachers also, but I found one, where a kind, gray-haired lady sat behind a desk. She looked up at me when I came in and her mouth formed a silent "o."

"You must be Duo...Maxwell, yes?" she said. "My name is Sandra Plathers. I am so glad that you were able to make it here, since it was first bell and all. I was worried you might get crushed in the flow of students." I laughed, as she shook my hand. She had a genuine smile that spread across all of her wide face. "Now, you are here for a job interview, right?"

"I believe so," I said. "Though I feel a little intimidated now. I never imagined you would have so many students." Sandra nodded and put a hand on my arm. She led me behind the desk and down another hallway. "I had known that schools were scarce, but..."

"Well, since most government-managed schools are falling through on funding and must close, we've gotten a lot of business lately. Enrollment has almost doubled since last year. It's not under promising circumstances for everyone else, but we are happy here." I chuckled. This lady seemed nice enough; I had a feeling that she could become a friend of mine here. "Now, usually when new hopefuls come here, they get long, drawn out lectures about this hallway, how those pictures on the wall of the old headmasters, but I find that tiresome. I hope you don't mind." I laughed now.

"Not at all!" I said. "Thanks for saving my ears." She grinned and raised and eyebrow.

"But don't say that around the current headmaster. He likes to stick to old tradition, thinking we need something to hold onto in these rough times." I cringed to think of them speaking of rough times, when they really hadn't suffered at all. What did they know of the "rough times" of L2? But I held back my anger and nodded and smiled and laughed. Finally, we came to a large door, with a gold plaque hanging on it. With a smile, Sandra excused herself, and told me to knock on the door whenever I felt ready. The headmaster should be free. I smoothed down my coat, took a deep breath, and knocked.

"Come in," a voice boomed from inside. The voice was deep, but welcoming, and I opened the door, hoping that the shaking in my hands wasn't apparent.

"Good morning, sir. My name is Duo Maxwell, and I came here for an interview." The man looked up from his desk. He was a large man, not round, just large, with a steely gaze that sized up me immediately. He glared at the braid, swinging into place behind me.

"Yes, Duo Maxwell. You said you were an...English teacher? Please, take a seat." I sat in the large chair, covered in leather, and almost sighed. Such comforts...how long since I felt such comforts as this? I had almost forgotten leather existed...well, for uses that would actually bring comfort, that is. The man adjusted his glasses and pulled up a document on his computer. "It says here you have previous teaching experience. Tell me, why are not teaching any of these places any more? It does say you were fired from both." I shrugged my shoulders.

"I guess they didn't appreciate what I was doing. Really, though, those places are looking for very specialized teachers, and if you do not fall into that category after a year or so, they will fire you. It is the not the lack of teaching skills at all, I assure you. They were quite particular." He nodded slowly. This measurement of me unsettled me; I had been expecting a jovial man, fakly so, that would smile at least when he decided not allow me into the school. Instead, I was met with a cold glare.

He asked many questions, about how I would deal with situations with these "young adults," as he called them, how I would control them, what type of mentor I wished to be with them, if I understood that they were going into environments where the men were probably expected to inherit companies, and the women also were expected to be well learned, in case there was no son or something happened to him. I answered with a grin, straightforward (but not always truthful) answers, and he bought it. He began to loosen up around me, and cracked a smile here and there. Skills were coming back I hadn't used in a while. Persuading enemies who didn't know I was their enemy or talking my way out of threats had been one of my strong points in the war. Heero loved to tease me, say I acted less like Shinigami and more like a trickster god.

"Mr. Maxwell, is something wrong?" I must have let on that I was thinking about Heero, because the headmaster looked worried. I nodded and laughed.

"I was just thinking that this job might be so...much for me to handle!" Concern, the headmaster liked that. He motioned around him, to the richly decorated office.

"We are a welcoming school, and the faculty and I will be willing to help you in any way that you need. It is in the school's history to be helpful and inclusive, allow assistance and chances for those who need it. And I do think, Mr. Maxwell, that handling these children shall be of no concern. You will work fine at this school. And, I think you will give the atmosphere...character." He glanced over my shoulder to my braid. "Though, I must say that, if you were to take the job, there might have to be a few changes..." I took the end of my braid and flipped it over my shoulder, eyes wide.

"You mean...cut my braid?" I asked. "Surely you could let it stay. I can understand that it would be a mark on the appearance of the faculty, but, please, consider letting it stay." Still, even as I said this, I was thinking of the advantages of not having it there. It was becoming a dead weight nowadays, five years worth of dead weight. I ran the end of my braid between my thumb and forefinger.

"I can understand that this must be quite an...accomplishment for you. How long have you been growing your hair?" The man put back on his smile, which I had wanted to coax out of him and now made me cringe. But I shook my head.

"Maybe it's time for it to be cut. Don't worry! If I get the job, and you want me to, I'll chop it off." The headmaster chuckled and stood then.

"Well, you must want to have a look around the school. We've arranged for one of the students to give you a tour; we like to instill good values into the students, and have found that these tours do that. It teaches them valuable skills, you see. Hikara is her name, and she should be outside of the office any minute now. Why don't you go wait for her, Mr. Maxwell." I stood, and the man took my hand in a hardy shake. He grinned.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Duo Maxwell," he said. "I'll be getting back to you by the end of the week on whether or not the job's yours. But, just between you and me, I think you might be a good person for this course." I smiled, a little embarrassed.

"I'm quite interested in this position, and think you have a wonderful school. I'm glad I could meet with you today." He showed me to the door and laughed as I left, a deep, rolling sound that echoed down the hallway. I let out a long sigh, only when I had rounded the corner and neared the exit to the offices, back into the entrance hall. I passed Sandra's desk, but she had left, unfortunately. So, I hurried into the hall and looked about. Hikara...Hikara...

"Sir, are you Duo Maxwell?" I heard a voice ask behind me. I looked around to see a Japanese girl standing behind me. "My name is Hikara, and I'll be showing you around today." She smiled and flipped back a strand of hair from her face. She turned around, looking over her shoulder with a bit of disdain. "I was told to show you to some English classes and around to other places: the lunch hall, student lounge areas, and such. Well, if you'll come this way you can observe one of the classes." She walked away, quick little steps in hopes to leave me behind. But I caught up to her and stood alongside her, even though my own hate for Hikara was quickly growing.

"So, what year are you here?" I asked.

"Senior," she replied tersely. I raised my eyebrows, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by her. "You'll be teaching sophomores, right?"

"Yes, that's right." Hikara snorted.

"You'll be teaching Tonako, my brother, then. I'm sorry." I laughed at that, but a glare from her silenced me. I quit my attempts at polite conversation. She took me through a labyrinth of hallways, past numerous classrooms, until she came to abrupt halt in front of one door. Hikara waited a moment, listening to the noises inside the classroom.

"They have a substitute in there right now; this is the class that will be yours if you get the job. I think they're reading stories they've written right now, but I'm not sure," she explained. Hikara opened the door. Once inside, she put on a sickening smile.

"Excuse me, but we have a visitor. This is...Duo Maxwell, and he has come to observe a class. Mr. Maxwell, I'll let you go and will be outside waiting," she said, with that same grin on her face. When I entered the room, trying to act relaxed, she gave me a little shove. "Baka," she whispered. I glared at her.

"That wasn't nice," I muttered back. She looked up startled. "Yes, I know Japanese, fool." Hikara quickly left after that, almost catching the edge of her skirt in the door as she shut it. I turned around to the class. The substitute was a young looking woman, nervous as hell at the thought of not only having to teach for the students but for a _guest_, and by the way she looked at me, as she thought about it an _attractive guest_.

"Hello, Duo Maxwell. There's a seat at the back," she stammered. "You can observe the class from there. I was just having students volunteer to bring up stories to read to the class. They've been writing them since we don't have much to teach to them without a good teacher to teach it." Her words blended together near the end, and she blushed when I flashed a grin.

"No worries. You just go on teaching." But she was too off balance. When I took a seat in the back, apart from the students, she could not continue with any sort of grace. Firstly, most of the students were watching me sit down, and the teacher's shaky voice could barely carry over the noise.

"Now, where were we?" she asked. "Oh yes, Tonako, you were coming up, weren't you? Yes, Tonako, you have to. You have good writing." A man on the first row shuffled to the front. His black hair fell to his shoulders, in an unruly mass, and he was thin, lanky, but muscular. He turned around. "If I can remember correctly, Tonako, you wrote a poem, right?" Tonako nodded.

"It's called Wing," he said with a voice that froze my heart in its beating. My mind had wandered from the class, but that voice brought it back. That voice could bring a person back from the grave.

_Heero..._

If his voice had confused me before, his appearance almost made me drop from my chair. He had black hair, yes, and black eyes, not shining blue, but they were the same eyes. They held that same intensity, same...insanity. His firm jaw, strong face, lean shoulders, the way the uniform clung to his body...who was Tonako? Surely not who he appeared to be. This was no student. This...it _had_ to be Heero. There was no man who was quite like him, yet here stood an almost mirror image of Heero. I shook my head. Heero could not be Tonako, though. Heero would be around my age, and this youth looked only fifteen. No, I was only imagining the similarities between them. And Heero had no sister, as Hikara had claimed to be to Tonako.

But, when he began reading the poem I knew there was once crucial difference between them: Tonako was a talented poet. Heero might have been the perfect soldier, but his poetry was less than mediocre (no offense meant to him). But Tonako had skill with words. No, this was not Heero. I was seeing things, for sure.

Still, I could not bring myself to leave alone the sound of his voice, a mumble, but comforting to my ears that had stung from all other voices I heard. I closed my eyes and saw Heero standing in front of the class, not this mysterious student. It was Heero!

_And as I flew towards an unbroken sky_

_Where your dream shatters like glass into_

_Soft petals of sound, each one a chance at life..._

I heard the echoes of clapping around me and brought myself from my dream world to notice that Tonako had finished. He folded the paper and returned to his seat without another word, settling into the chair what I had called "the Heero slouch." I watched the back of his head, the way the black hairs caught the light, how he shook it out until it was away from his eyes. I kept my eyes fixed on him, noting every little movement he made, every shift of a muscle or change in position. Halfway through the next story, his eyelids drooped, and slipped into position over his eyes, the long lashes brushing his cheeks. He was sound asleep, and out in the open; of course, if the teacher noticed this, she paid it no attention, probably out of fear.

So...if I got the job I would teach him? My heart beat faster, though I tried to calm it. There was no way this child could have known Heero, been related to Heero, or be tied to him in any way. I was overdoing the similarities between them, all probably a trick of the light. For one thing, Tonako did not have blue eyes. Those eyes were what defined Heero, one of the first features that came back to me when I recalled his appearance. They pierced the soul, while at the same time, they could be so loving, and compassionate, and when Heero closed them, I saw even then the blue peeking at me from under the eyelids, playfully. That, and Tonako's hair was black, and longer than Heero's, though I saw traces of that familiar messiness quite unique to only Heero. Tonako _was _Heero's size, with the same body type of my former lover. What, even their voices were the same!

Tonako turned around.

His eyes met my own, and he glared at me, noticing I had been staring at him. So caught off guard was I, I could not even bring myself to stop gaping at him. He mouthed something at me in Japanese, and though I could not catch all the words, I guessed it went along the lines of "fuck off." A blush crept to my cheeks, and I turned to front of the class, forcing my eyes to stay on the student there and my ears to listen to the story she told, no matter how dull it might be. Tonako's eyes were still on me, I could tell; whatever peace he had found in sleep was obviously shattered. I wondered: did he notice the tenseness in my posture, the way my senses were still trained on him. If he did, he paid that no heed, too busy staring at me as I had stared at him before.

I gave up trying to divert my attention and turned back to him. Our eyes met, if just for a second, and for a moment, I thought I saw fear in him, the way I held his gaze to steadily. Fear...another difference to remind myself. If anyone was afraid in my relationship with Heero, it would have been me; of course, I was never afraid of him. No, this was not Heero. Tonako turned around when he saw that I would not leave, no matter how much he glared, and closed his eyes. I sighed.

I was just fooling myself.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

That night, when I came home, I dreamt of Heero. I can't remember the details, but I woke the next morning seeing his face beside me. I put my arm around Heero, nuzzling close to him. His strong arms encased me in warmth. Heero was here by my side, helping me through my hardships, guiding me, loving only me. His kissed me, and tears sprang to my eyes. His kisses made me collapse in on myself, or made me rebuild myself, however I was feeling that day. They were my lifeblood, the only thing I could not live without. Even just the dream of his kiss kept me going, and this was a dream. When I opened my eyes, I was alone on the small bed, the sheets above me barely providing enough warmth to fight off the drafty chill of my apartment. I curled into a little ball. Beside me, an old clock read in bright red numbers that it was around noon; I had slept clear through half of the morning. No loss, of course. I had nothing to do until that call came from the school, deciding my fate. Until then, all I had to do was avoid my landlord and wait.

I pulled myself out of bed, yawning. If I could remember correctly, I came home late again last night, spending most of the evening...drinking. That explained the headache, and why the world began to feel like it was tilting when I rose. Memories floated back. I had gone out to drink to clear my head, try and get rid of the frightening image of Tonako, that replica of Heero. Maybe, if I could forget, I would not act strangely if I got the job. As it happened, I spent most of the evening talking with one of the drunks of that bar. He was a despicable fellow, smelling of stale beer and human waste. I wouldn't have been surprised if he told me he slept in the bar. Instead, we spent the night exchanging life stories. Once I knew him a little better, he wasn't such a bad man, though I could tell that most of his problems he brought on himself. We drank long into the night, until he finally told me to leave, that my lover was probably missing me. In our conversations, I guessed he never got the part that Heero was long gone. I staggered out of there, leaving him to drown himself in more beer, and struggled home. There, I fell onto the bed and passed out, too drunk and tired to even pull off my clothes.

Now, I felt sick, and not just from the hangover. Drinking was not a habit I enjoyed, though I found myself all too often returning to the comfort of alcohol. Heero instilled in me that hatred of drink; he never touched a bottle in his life, saying that no matter how good it was the aftereffects were something he would not be able to stand. I followed suit; after spending my childhood on L2, I had seen too many drunkards not to believe Heero. Still, there were times when there was too much in my head, and I needed to be free of it. Last night was one of those times.

"I'm sorry, Heero, I promise I won't drink again," I whispered. Yeah, I said that every time, and so far I had broken my word every time, but saying that made me feel a little bit better about the whole ordeal, at least. "Now, how to waste the next seven hours..."

I ended up wasting them cleaning. My apartment was a wreck, and Heero had always said that cleaning "helped the mind. It's monotonous enough that you forget everything else." It wasn't an easy feat, since my whole body protested it, after the amount of alcohol consumed last night, but I managed to get the apartment into straight order. I reorganized the books on the shelf, dusted all the surfaces, washed my clothes and the sheets and the cleaners down the street, emptied out all the old food in the refrigerator and cupboard; the apartment glowed. In all that time, unfortunately, no phone call came, though I was always ready to spring towards the receiver at the first hint of a ring. There was nothing. By evening, I had gone over all the surfaces so many times I had begun to wonder if the cleaner was hurting them. The old, grimy apartment was gone now; in its place was finally a hospitable place. I settled down on the couch, with a copy of a book in my hand, ready to read it and let my mind slip into the trance of words.

It was then that the phone rang.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Today, Sunday, the day after Saturday, this was after Friday, the day that determined my life. I sat in front of the phone now, my hand poised over the receiver. In my other hand was a card with a number on it. I was shaking all over and sweating, but gulped back the lump in my throat.

"It's time to move on. Get a hold of yourself. It's time to move on." I looked down at the card, ran my hand over the slightly raised numbers in ink, and picked up the phone. I dialed slowly as my hands were shaking so badly. The phone rang for what felt like hours, and with each ring I told myself I could just hang up there, turn away, forget about my new life. I could stay where I was right now, leave everything behind. But, when I stared at the notepad next to the phone, with all of the other calls I needed to make crossed out except this one, I knew that was impossible. I had talked to the owners of another apartment complex, had paid for all payments overdue on this one with a loan, and had already even started packing up my belongings to move out of here on Wednesday. There was only one more number left for me to call, one thing left to bet set into place. A voice answered on the other side of the phone, and I closed my eyes, letting the unfeeling side of me run through the words I had practiced in front of the mirror already, just so I wouldn't shy away from this when the time came. Tears collected under my eyelashes.

_Heero, I'm sorry...I really am..._

"Yes, I would like to schedule an appointment to have my hair cut."

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Long chapter...or at least long compared to my other chapters. Hope you liked this one. Hopefully I'll have another chapter up soon! And maybe by then I'll figure out something better to use as section dividers than a lot of "T's." Augh, I don't like QuickEdit!

Please, please review. I love all comments!


	4. Chapter 3

Damn, it's been a while since I posted ANYTHING here. Terribly sorry for the delay, I really am. I hope there are still people reading this story and all, even though it's been months. Real life suddenly assaulted me and decided I shouldn't have any time left to write, so I haven't been able to write very much recently. And I've been letting some of my original stuff take precedence over my fanfiction.

Well, enough excuses. I hope this chapter's good; please point out any grammatical mistakes if you find them though, since I haven't gotten my beta to read this.

Chapter 3

The new apartment was much larger and much cleaner than my old one. I mean, this one had a den, a dining room, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a kitchen! I walked around the space in amazement, marveling that there were no major leaks on the ceiling, that there was little dirt in it or otherwise almost permanent grime from the last owner. Sure, the place wasn't upscale, but it was a huge jump from my previous living conditions. In that same vein though, it meant I had to have all payments on time, but I had little doubt that with my new increase in salary, there would be no problems there. It was about the second or third floor up, which by now I was regretting, since the landlord had told me that I needed to use the stairs to move all of my belongings inside the apartment, not the elevator. And, marvel of marvels! the elevator worked and was in passable condition, didn't rattle when it went up and down! I inspected each crevice of the apartment, noting that it did need some work, but that with only a little time it would be cleaner. I grinned and flipped my hair out of my face.

And stopped grinning.

I reached up to my hair, the silky strands collecting around my shoulders in a ponytail. I had no more bangs, instead just a few shorter pieces in the front. It was all I had left of the triumphant braid from before. My back felt so bare, my head so light, without the braid there, brushing my legs, swaying back and forth as if it were my own tail. I was the insane braided Shinigami, a street child, growing up in a poor orphanage church, on the streets once the church was gone, becoming a Gundam pilot, fighting in the largest war the colonies or earth had ever seen. My braid had seen all of that. Heero had run his hands through that braid professed his love into the strands over and over, in the dead of night.

"And now I'm Duo," I said. I turned around and set off downstairs, in hopes to find among all of my belongings a vacuum cleaner and some other supplies to tidy up the apartment before I started moving boxes in.

I found the small moving truck (I didn't have many belongings) where I had left it, which was quite a miracle. Back in the slums, someone would have taken off with it and the contents inside. I dug around until I found some cleaning supplies and trudged back upstairs. It didn't take long to finish cleaning the apartment, and before long, I was at the task of moving boxes upstairs and unpacking.

That evening, one of my old friends from the slums came to help me move the furniture upstairs. He was a good fellow, talkative, grinning; his name was Jack. Jack and I had been acquaintances for a while over those years. He and I, I hated to admit, had even tried dating for a while. It lasted a total of three days, before I told Jack I wasn't ready for someone else. I had told him a story about Heero and me, not lying, just leaving out the part of him being married to Relena Peacecraft and me having not seen him for five years and us being Gundam pilots. Jack understood and let the relationship drop.

"You're damn lucky, you know that Duo? I mean, you move from nothing to this place! All I can hope is that you haven't overdone it." I laughed and shook my head.

"Nah, I'll be keeping this place for a long time. This job, hopefully, will be close to permanent, and I'm planning of never coming back to the slums." Jack patted me on the back, grinning.

"I see what you're thinking. I hope that sticks as truth; the slums have their way of bringing back their stray fledglings. All right, you get on the other side of this thing." We lifted up the sofa and toted it up the three flights of stairs. It was the last piece of furniture, and I was beginning to feel the strain of lifting all of this. Before, it would have been a piece of cake to lift these things up the stairs. I was getting weak.

The next few hours passed blissfully without any thinking on my part. Jack chattered in my ear the whole way through, and his talk created a nice background hum to blank my mind from all else. No thoughts of Heero, of my past, only brief talk about my work as we unloaded boxes and I sent Jack to organize my kitchen. I was unloading the books on to my bookshelf when I heard Jack approaching me. I had just pulled out the newest book in my collection: a year book the school gave me so I could "familiarize myself" with the students. Jack pulled it out of my hands before I could stop him. He let out a long whistle.

"Glossy paper, fancy cover, color pictures: Duo, friend, this is one fucking classy establishment. Hey, so you're teaching sophomores?" He flipped through the book and found the class. "Any sexy guys in there? Most of them look too sophisticated...oh, wait one minute. Now that's a fine face there." Jack handed me the book and pointed to the face; it was Tonako. He glared at the camera; it was a picture from last year, I guessed, since he had short hair. But that short hair looked just like...

"God..."I whispered. Nothing could have prepared me for this. His glaring eyes, his hair, which looked dyed brown then, the set of his jaw. Jack grinned and said something I didn't catch. I couldn't tear my eyes away from that picture.

"Something wrong?" Jack asked. I laughed and shut the book.

"Oh, he was one of the students I saw in my tour yesterday; he read a poem to his English class, and he was an incredible poet, really." Jack raised his eyebrows, elbowing me in the side as I put the book on the shelf. He grinned.

"Are you sure it's only that he's a good poet? You know that fucking students gets you kicked out of school, and probably in jail." I must have turned bright red, because Jack doubled over in laughter then. "Ha, you do think he's sexy," Jack giggled. He stood and skipped back to the kitchen. "Bring him back here one time and invite me over! I want a taste of him too, you know." I sighed and kept unpacking the books, making sure not to open the photo albums, for fear of losing control again. My hands shook as the image of Tonako kept returning to me. Whoever he really was, all I could think of was Heero, but that was absurd. He looked like Heero from the war, not the new Heero of now, years later, with his wife and children on earth. I put my head in my hands.

"How could it happen?" I whispered. But then I stood again. "Nope, no more remorse. It's over and done with." Jack looked up from where he was putting food in cabinets.

"What'd ya say?" he called. I laughed and shrugged.

"Just thinking about my old boyfriend, you know," I said, causally enough. Jack rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, him. You going to get over him now then? Hey, you know Duo you look beat. You need to get out and relax for a while before you start this job. My friends and I were heading out tonight. Why don't you join us? I think you need something to get your mind off all of this." I shook my head.

"Nah, I shouldn't. I'm really tired, you know, after this long week, and want to rest for a while. Plus, I _am _going to be starting my new job next week and want to prepare myself for it." Jack groaned.

"That's _next _week, Duo!" He grinned and sidled up to me. "Some of my friends are really good looking, you know. Do you want to forget Heero? You should come tonight; who knows who you'll meet." I grumbled and helped him to get the last box unloaded in the kitchen. We then moved through the rest of the house together, while Jack attempted to persuade me to go with him. I kept insisting I had other things to do tonight (consisting of pondering Tonako, but I didn't tell Jack that). My pleas fell on deaf ears, and finally Jack commanded that I would go or he would drag me from the house and strap me to the back of the bus.

"I promise it won't be in the slums; you won't have to go back there. You see, we're throwing a party for one of my friends; he just got here to the colonies and we thought it would be good for him to have somewhere to meet some people. So you're coming."

My protests once more went unheard, and once we had most of the house finished, Jack dragged me outside and out to his party.

----------

I felt bad enough letting Jack drag me out with him tonight, but it got even worse once our group left his friend's apartment and headed into the city. The party for his friend went well; his friend was a little shy, and I think that Jack intended for me to loosen him up and help him enjoy himself, but I wasn't feeling very cheerful myself, so I was only halfheartedly joining in with the festivities. And there were festivities. More food and beer (or any other alcoholic beverage) than a person could ever want or need and plenty of loud music to liven it up. And this was only at the apartment!

Jack's friend (his name was Hyde) insisted he wanted to see this part of the town, go out and explore the colony. Jack quickly volunteered we head down the street a ways to the gay bar he frequented often. There were very few complaints about that (since they knew that Jack wouldn't have listened anyway), so we were headed now to the bar for the rest of the evening. Jack was currently explaining the bar to Hyde, hoping that Hyde wouldn't be so quiet, and I was with them, forcing myself to laugh and seem to be enjoying myself, even though all the while my heart felt so heavy. Jack pointed us down a side street and just as we were rounding the corner we heard a shout from behind.

"Hey Jack, wait up! Gosh, how could you forget to tell me you were going out tonight? I want to meet your new friend too!" A woman was running after us. Jack rolled his eyes and tried to walk faster, but she caught up with the group, stopping in front of him with her hands on her hips. "How could you do that Jack?" she cried. "You know I love coming to your parties!" I suppressed a laugh as Jack let out a long sigh.

"Well…I thought you had plans, Kristen," he said after a long pause. Kristen, yes…now I remembered her. She was Jack's roommate: loud, bouncy, always cheerful, and always eager to join Jack's lively parties. The problem was she was one of those people you just _couldn't _invite to parties. It wasn't that she would make a mess of them…it was just, well…for example, when she goes into any bar, the bouncer usually asks her soon after if she's had a bit much to drink. She'll turn to them and say, "I haven't had anything to drink yet!" And the scary thing was she hadn't. It was like she was in a constant state of happy drunkenness…or just on a _lot _of drugs.

"Nope, I was just sitting around the apartment all by myself with nothing to do because you deserted me!" She shook her head. "You're so mean, Jack!" She looked around the group of people as if searching for someone she didn't know. Her eyes fell to Hyde. "Hey, is this your new friend, Hyde? Hey, I'm Kristen, nice to meet ya!" Hyde let out a yelp as she suddenly hugged him. His eyes looked like saucers in his small face. I looked over to Jack, who was currently shaking his head.

"Um, Hyde, that's my roommate, Kristen," Jack said. Nothing else was said about it, and Kristen joined the rest of the group, providing enough conversation so that most others didn't have to say a thing. She often would turn to me during the walk and say something looked different. I pretended to not know what she was talking about; my changed appearance was something I didn't want to bring up, ever. So she would stare at me a while and shrug, going back to torturing poor Hyde, who was still frightened out of his wits (his wide eyes and almost perfectly white face were a dead giveaway) by Kristen. Luckily, the walk did not take much longer, and soon we headed down a small alley back to the bar.

----------

"So of course I wouldn't _ever _think about turning down this new job, you know. I mean, I'm working with some fucking fancy people here, and I'm getting paid a shitload more than before!" I said happily to Hyde. As Jack predicted, he had taken an interest in me and had finally loosened up a bit (though that might have been the many drinks he had). "I mean, going from the slums to this! It's incredible." I myself hadn't been able to stop Jack from forcing drinks on me, so I was a bit drunk. "And I want to start a new life." Hyde chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm looking for a job. But between you and me, I think that Jack's trying to hook me up with one of his friends here so that I won't need to look to hard anymore. I think he means for us to hook up." I leaned a little closer.

"Just between you and me, Hyde, I noticed." He laughed and looked over to where Jack was currently dancing with some random man he had picked up at the bar (who looked considerably younger than Jack). Kristen was nearby, seemingly lost in her own little world while she danced with herself. She looked up and saw us watching that way and bounced over to us.

"You two having fun?" she asked. "You should come and dance! It's a blast, you guys." Hyde shook his head, and I just shrugged. I was tempted to say "hn," but refrained from that old habit of…no, not thinking about that. This is my _new _life, without the past at all. "Oh, come on," she pleaded. "Just dance once. I'm sure Jack would be happy to dance with one of you sometime." I glanced over her shoulder back at Jack, but Jack seemed engrossed in dancing with his new partner.

"Well, you two are just sooo entertaining, aren't you?" she said. "Hey, I heard a joke just now. What do a cymbal and a snare drum say when they fall down a cliff?" I wasn't paying attention though. That guy Jack was dancing with looked very familiar. Where had I seen him before? "Well, do you know?" I shook my head, and Hyde said nothing, instead watching me while I watched Jack and his partner. "'Ba dum tch!' That's the sound they make. You get it? That the little thingy for bad jokes you know?" She was giggling hysterically by this point. Hyde laughed nervously, and I managed a chuckle. "You two just don't laugh, do you? Gosh!" She continued laughing and sat down next to Hyde. Jack's partner…he was a little short, long, messy hair, if only they weren't dancing in a shadow! Jack was getting closer and closer to him, their bodies almost flush now. The song ended and another one, more fast paced, replaced it. I saw Jack run his hands down the boy's thighs, the glint of black leather under his hands. The boy didn't seem to mind when Jack's hand came to rest on his backside while Jack danced. I suddenly stood up and looked over and Hyde.

"You wanna dance?" I asked. I thought I saw Hyde flush red under the dim lights, but he stood anyway. Kristen gave him a shove and clapped her hands together when we onto the dance floor. Hyde looked around at the other dancing figures hesitantly, but I pulled him farther into the crowd and told him to dance.

"How?" he whispered. I laughed and shrugged, brushing against him, ever so slightly, with my hips. He blushed even brighter.

"However you want, Hyde." He started dancing, clumsily at first, and then as I guided him along with more confidence…and abandon. All the while, I was guiding us closer towards Jack and his mysterious partner. Jack had sense moved his hands off his partner; I had seen the boy finally realize what Jack was doing and quickly lift Jack's hands away. That hadn't stopped their dancing, though. Finally, I was close enough to see the boy's face. Hyde was moving closer and closer to me in the dance, and suddenly I pressed my hips flush with him. But I was distracted by the feel of the bulge in Hyde's pants, and felt my own pants tightening. _You fool! You're actually enjoying dancing with him? Well, he is attractive, and he's a good dancer, and he's…really nice looking and can dance, but still! _But Hyde had put his hands around my waist now and was dancing frantically. He pulled us away from Jack and the still mysterious partner, and I cursed Hyde and all of his stupidity. I wanted to see that boy's face! That's all I wanted. Then, my luck changed again, and Jack turned also, so that I could get a closer look at the boy. I saw a corner of his face. His eyes were closed, his mouth partly open. His hands were under Jack's shirt, and Jack was slowly rubbing his hips against the boy. A surge of jealousy ran through me, which surprised me, since I didn't even know who this partner was. Why should I be jealous that Jack was the one dancing so intimately with him? The boy opened his eyes though, and he turned just his eyes to look at me. They widened at the sight of me, and I turned away, embarrassed at being caught. But, but where had I seen those eyes before, that stare? Dammit, why was that boy so familiar? Then Jack bent down to the boy and tried to lick the boy's lips. The boy broke away. I saw Jack try to chase after him, but his _former _partner shot him a glare and shouted something to him that I couldn't understand. Strangely, I felt a sudden pleasure at that.

The song changed once more, and Hyde broke away from me also, although reluctantly. He smiled, shyly, and hurried back to our table. Kristen had since left there, going to talk with a group of cross-dressers, and Hyde and I had the table to ourselves. Jack's friends had dispersed around the room to who knows where. I sat down next to Hyde, and we didn't say anything, didn't even look at each other, really. After a few minutes Hyde finally asked if I wanted another beer. I nodded and he left to get us more beer, just as Jack was coming to sit down at the table. Jack watched him go and grinned.

"Nice ass he's got," he said. "Hey, Duo, you see that other boy with me! Some Japanese kid, didn't catch his name. Hot damn he was nice." Jack nodded to himself, a smile on his face. He was swaying slightly in his seat, and I saw Jack wouldn't make it much longer here. "Wish he would've stayed longer." Jack looked around. "Hey, you seen Kristen?"

"I think she left, taking some of your friends home, the ones that were too drunk themselves."

"She wasn't?"

"The bar put a 'no drinks under any circumstances to Kristen, Jack's roommate.' Remember?" Jack scrunched up his face, thinking, and shrugged.

"Nope, I just remember that kid's ass. Speaking of ass, hey Hyde." Hyde threw a beer into Jack's hands (to keep them busy and away from Hyde's body). He handed me mine and sat down once more beside me. Jack looked between us when Hyde's hand lingered on my shoulder.

"So you two…heading back soon?" Jack asked. He drained almost half of his beer and choked on some of it. He gave another lopsided grin. "Head back home…we should probably. But I want that guy's ass. Hey, he's leaving now. Let's go!" Jack tried to get up but ended up tripping on his feet. Hyde sprang up and caught him before he could fall, and I was up soon afterwards. We supported Jack between us, while he mumbled about the boy and his body. I looked over Jack and met Hyde's eyes. He raised his eyebrow and smiled weakly.

"Hey, buddy, let's get on home," I said. I glanced around, wondering if any other members of the long since broken up party were still lingering. Hyde saw one in a corner and rushed to get him, tell him that we were leaving. Hyde came back with him. The man looked a little nervous, probably meaning he was one of Jack's straight friends, but he was the only one of us left in here. He walked beside me while Hyde and I balanced Jack between us. Jack was singing to himself and trying to dance around into the street. I tightened my grip on Jack.

"Damn, Jack," I said. "You're going to have one hell of a hangover!" Jack just giggled to himself and kept on singing.

We finally reached Jack's apartment and handed him back over to Kristen. She grinned and invited us in for a drink or two, but Hyde declined. He glanced over at me and brushed his fingers against my arm. I tried to keep a straight face, but in the haze of my drink, my eyes must have widened. Kristen just laughed again, said goodnight, and shut the door. I heard Jack singing inside and then a loud crash. Shaking my head, I turned away with Hyde following.

"So, where are you staying?"

"Oh, at a hotel only a few blocks down." I nodded, and felt a knot growing in my stomach. Hyde looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders. I turned away from him; I knew exactly what he was planning in all of this, and felt I couldn't escape from it easily enough. I mean, Hyde just seemed so…lost in all of this, anyway. Suddenly, I stopped, looking around me. I think I might have let myself smile just slightly, because Hyde looked puzzled.

"Actually, my place is back the other way. I have to catch a bus down there as it is, but I'm going in the wrong direction. And I'm pretty beat." Hyde's face fell. I stepped towards Hyde and put my hand on my shoulder. "I had a great time tonight, but I have to go now."

"Won't you at least walk back to the hotel with me? I…might get lost, you know," he said. He was searching for some excuse, and though it was a pathetic excuse, I smiled and nodded. He smiled then and we started down the street. "Thanks, I really don't want to get lost here." I was inwardly beating myself for doing this, but another voice whispered in my head that I _was _trying to start on a new life, right? What better way to do that than to go back with Hyde? I shook my head. I didn't want this type of new life.

It's a good start though, right?

No, no, no it's not!

Of course it is, Duo, and you know it. So have fun tonight, get your life together afterwards, and start on a new path away from the past. I looked over at Hyde, who was in turn watching the street. For a one-night fling, he wasn't too bad of a choice. Of course, I wondered what he would think about it after it was all done. And then my thoughts turned back to Jack's partner. What about a one night fling with him? Sure, he seemed much younger than I was (and much, much younger than Jack), but, as Jack so eloquently put "nice ass he's got." Still…the boy looked so familiar. If only I could think about where I had seen those eyes before.

"Here's the hotel," Hyde said. He walked into the building. It wasn't the nicest place, but nice enough. In other words, the lobby still had paint on the walls, and carpet without too many stains, the elevator worked, and the place didn't stink of sex and whore's perfume. Hyde turned around at the elevator.

"Well, I guess goodnight Duo," he said. I saw his pleading eyes, and remembered our dancing, the way his hips swayed against me, the strong feel of his legs, his hands wrapped around my waist. The little voice telling me yes took hold, and when the elevator opened, I pulled him inside.

"Not yet," I whispered in his ear when the elevator closed. Hyde blushed again and looked at the number pad on the elevator. His hand lingered above it, and he seemed unable to decide what floor he was on. He laughed nervously.

"I guess I had a little too much to drink. What floor am I on? Oh yeah," he laughed again, "seven, that's right." He pressed the button and the elevator was moving again. "This isn't the nicest hotel, I know, but it's the best place I could find that was close to some of my friends. And plus, this was the one I could afford." I shrugged.

"I've been in worse places," I said, "but let's not talk about that now. I don't like thinking about those." Hyde looked puzzled, but didn't say anything.

His room was somewhat small, but not dirty; both beds were made, all his clothes still in their bag; even the small bathroom looked orderly, with all of his toiletries neatly tucked into a small bag. I could tell though that when we entered Hyde suddenly turned very nervous. It was like he had it all planned out in his head what we would do but he wasn't sure exactly how to start it. He turned around to look at me, once more, and inched closer. He pressed his body to me and looked up into my eyes (I realized then how short he actually was, to me shorter than I was). Then, without hesitating, he pulled me down into a kiss, tongue and all. I gasped, but he was pulling me to the bed and lowered me down upon it. He didn't stop his kisses, barely even pausing for a breath. I closed my eyes and let myself flow into the moment, though my mind was turmoil. One half of me told me to keep going with all of this (I think that was the lower half), but the other half, still clinging to my old life, told me to stop this, that I didn't even care at all for Hyde.

While I fought though, Hyde was stripping off my clothes, rather quickly, I thought. He was busy fighting to get my pants off when I put my hands on his.

"Hyde, wait," I said. Two replies shot into my mouth at the same time, but only one got to my tongue first. "Slow down a bit. You're not used to this, are you?" Hyde shook his head.

"I know what I'm doing," he mumbled and continued to take off my pants and boxers. He had already stripped himself of clothing and began once more his frantic kisses. Once more I pushed him away, trying to stop him, and two replies sprang into my mouth. The other side won over this time.

"What if I don't want this?" I asked. Hyde stopped then. But he grinned and ground his hips into mine; I let out a gasp.

"Sure feels like you do," he said. He bit the base of my neck, his tongue darting along my collarbone. I shook my head and held up my hand again.

"Hyde, really, let's stop this. I…I…just let's stop." Hyde sat up and looked down on me, still lying there on the bed, looking back up at him. He looked so hurt, and torn all the same. I reached up then, running my hand down his chest. "But…" I sat up too and turned him around so our positions were reversed. I smiled as he tried to stammer out some words and silenced him…

…probably giving him the greatest blowjob he had had in a long time. Once it was done, I sat back and watched him, as he gained control of his senses again. Before he could say anything though, I stood and rushed to the bathroom. I washed out my mouth, gagging on the large lump of…tears forming in my throat. I looked at myself in the mirror, that frame of short hair around my face, and let out a short, strangled sob. _You whore, _I scolded myself. _You fucking whore! _I rinsed out my mouth again and went back into the room.

Hyde had found more clothes and was sitting with them in a pile with him on the bed. He had since crawled under the covers and had the TV blaring now. I gathered up my own clothes and slipped into them. He flipped through the channels idly, and didn't look up when I sat down on the other bed. The channels passed by, the trash TV that almost every hotel has, junk channels that come free simply because of their stupidity. He paused briefly on a news channel, and I turned away, blocking out my ears to the sound. Relena's picture was in the corner of the screen that twisted smile frozen on the picture, her honey-blond hair I had come to despise. I heard, before I could fully block out the sound of the newscaster's voice, something about "four years since…" Afterwards, I heard nothing. My throat tightened again as I glanced at Hyde. _I'm an awful, sick whore! Heero…_I heard the remote click again and my hearing kicked in as the channel changed. I watched the screen once more, not really thinking about what was there, but just seeing moving blobs on a colorful background. Hyde looked over at me.

"I…guess you're leaving soon, right?" he said. I nodded and stood.

"I should be going now, actually." I stood and Hyde followed me to the door.

"I'm…sorry," he said. I shook my head.

"I'm the one who has everything to apologize about." With that, I opened the door and left. I heard Hyde throw himself back down on the bed once I was gone. With a sigh, I left the hotel and made my way back home.

The apartment was just as I had left it: almost unpacked. I stepped over some boxes left and collapsed on a couch; the bed didn't have any sheets, and I was far too tired to put them on now. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep, without even changing my clothes.

----------

The week passed all too quickly, and I found myself once more standing at the gates of the school. Students bustled around inside, and I took a deep breath. I had spent the week preparing myself for this, putting the finishing touches on my new home, avoiding Hyde (who left only yesterday to return to earth), and trying not to think too much, as I found myself doing so much in the hours of tedium. Now, I walked down the pathway under the trees and hurried into the building. I checked my watch and cursed; I had a class first period to teach, and had almost no idea where it was. I rushed through the halls of students, hearing mumblings behind me. Supposedly, it was quite rare to have a new teacher here. I saw the room Hikari had pointed out, outside it a group of students, among them…Tonako. I paused a few feet away and watched his back. He had a girl latched onto one of his arms, a pretty thing with short blond hair and a pale face. I felt something stirring in my heart once more and stormed towards them, opening the door to the classroom. The girl moved back when I opened the door almost on her and stormed into the classroom. I set my things down, overhearing her speaking to Tonako.

"Gotta go, silly; see you later." As he was walking into the classroom she pulled him back and gave him a long kiss. I looked around the room, seeing that some of the students were still milling around, talking, and paying me no attention. I shrugged and watched Tonako enter; he sat down in the back of the room, alone, glaring at me. I looked down and pretended to be sorting through my things to avoid those eyes. They looked blue in the lighting, and gorgeous. I found a sheet I had written a few things down on and set that out, then looked at other information sheets sent to me last week. I glanced up and saw Tonako's eyes had not moved from me. I cleared my throat and moved away from my desk, trying to control myself and hide my nervousness. I smiled at a girl in the front of the class who was watching me; she blushed and turned away, and also sat down.

"Yes, I think it is time we start now, as much as we all probably don't like that," I said loudly, to the rest of the class. They turned towards me, still chatting, but at least in their desks and for the most part paying attention. "Yeah, so, I'm your new teacher. The name's Duo Maxwell. I'm not exactly sure where to start, you know; I've looked at what you guys were doing before I came, but there wasn't really wasn't much to look at. What _were _you doing?"

And so went the first class as people tried to explain what the teacher had been doing, and ended up getting very off track. I figured out most of the students quickly; in other words, most of them were dead wood. They did very little to help the class in any way, I would just have to drag them along to give them a grade. A few students showed promised. And one students said nothing that whole class: Tonako. He stared at the ground, sometimes looked up at me, watched me warily. I found myself watching him too during the class, always sending glances back at him. But the bell rang, and all too soon he got up from his chair and leave with the other mass of students. A few said goodbye to me as they left, but still no words from Tonako. _Well, why should I expect any? About all Heero said at first was that I was an annoyance, so maybe silence is…_

"Why are you comparing him to Heero?" I grumbled. Tonako turned around. "Oh, sorry, just talking to myself." I laughed nervously and started collecting my materials. He smirked and shrugged.

"So we've got a crazy for a teacher," he said, leaning on the doorframe. I shrugged.

"It happens. Think about having to teach people like you for years." He kept his face straight, but I could see the glint behind his eyes, that little spark. He stood up slowly from the door, unfolding it almost seemed. "But anyway, don't you have class to get to?"

"Not really," he grumbled. "Don't have a class this period. Why, you want to get rid of me? Think I'm going to drive you insane?" I laughed, sitting back down at the desk.

"All students drive a teacher insane." I started to flip back through some of the materials the schools had given me. Tonako was still standing in the door, and I waited for him to respond. But I could see him out of the corner of my eye; he had not taken his eyes off me the whole time and probably had no idea I was watching him. Then he glanced down the hallway. I heard him say something in Japanese to a girl down the hallway, did not hear what the girl said, but soon saw that girl from before standing next to Tonako.

"Hey, is that the new teacher?" she said in Japanese. "Heya…Mr. Maxwell, right?" I nodded. "Well, come on Tonako, we've gotta go. Nice to meet you, Mr. Maxwell." She grabbed Tonako by the arm and dragged him from the room. Tonako followed her without a word. I stared at the door for a while before shaking my head.

"Don't even think anything. You have a good job, don't lose it," I mumbled. "And I really need to stop talking to myself."

I worked for a while and found nothing more to do, waiting for my next class. It was not until the last period. I got up and stretched; maybe now would be good to wander around the school and get to know the place. I knew that it was a huge building, and was ready to figure it out. I headed down towards the entrance of the school again, past closed doors of classrooms. A new class had just started so most of the students were working behind those doors. Occasionally I would pass an open classroom; there might be a few students chatting in there, or using it to work on class work, during their free time. I passed by one room, what looked like a science lab, with the door slightly closed. Curious, I peeked through the crack and saw a couple in the room, propped against one of the desks and quite oblivious. I smiled and left silently. I should have, as was my duty as a teacher, walked in and ended their little foray, but I could not bring myself to. I always had a soft spot for the couple trying to sneak a few kisses in when no one was looking at school; I would have most likely done the same if I had attended school.

Well, I still could now, but only if…

"No, no, no," I muttered, hurrying away from the room. No more thinking. I needed just to make it through today, and the next week or so, and it would all be normal again, no more of these absurdities, just another job to get through to get through these months and years. I pushed open the big double doors to the front of the school and stepped into the courtyard. The air was pleasant out, and I took a deep breath to clear my head. A few students lounged under the trees, as it was not yet too cold to enjoy the outdoors. There was a path to my left that I took along the side of a building. It went past perfectly manicured gardens, which, in a pleasanter time, would have been brimming with flowers. Now the leaves covered most of them in their own vibrant hues. There was no one else on the path; it bent around the other side of the building, and I guessed it went all the way back around. There seemed to be a large grove of threes on the far side of the building, and I hurried to investigate it. Not only was this one of the more prestigious education institutions, but they also had enough funding to have their own grounds, and well kept grounds at that! The path soon abandoned it's pavement for just a dirt path and I found myself immersed beneath the boughs of the trees. Just peeking through the twisting branches above me I could see the skyscrapers of L2, but that world seemed so far removed in this paradise.

"A little touch of earth," I said out loud. "God knows this colony needs it." And I need it. As much as earth was a painful memory for me, I could not help but want to make my way back to earth. There was still a little piece of me saying I had unfinished business there, even though I knew my business with earth, and all its inhabitants, was long ago finished. I glanced up at the trees again, the colony sloping above me. I thought I could smell rain on the way, most likely some time tonight. I rounded another bend and found myself back on the other side of the building. There was a door leading inside here, a janitor's entrance, it appeared, and I slipped inside there, hoping it would get me at least somewhat close to my own classroom. The building was a maze to me. When in doubt I had found most hallways led back to the main entrance, but that helped only a little bit. Luckily, my room was not far from the main hall. The walk around the building had taken longer than I expected, and the classes were just changing. I pushed my way through the mobs of students and back into the main hall. I turned down my corridor and found myself back at my classroom. All the students for my last class were already inside; I took a deep breath outside the door, put a grin on my face and walked into the room. Enough of this dreaming beneath the trees. It was high time I got back to reality.

----------------------

Just to point out the character Kristen is actually based off of my wonderful friend and beta Kristen. She wanted to be in one of my stories, so I decided to throw her in here.

Now, what would be really nice is if you would review, so that I know that people are still reading this story and checking up on it. Please, please! It will make me want to write it faster if I know that people are reading. It helps, a lot.

Once again, sorry it took so long to post! And please review!


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_"Heero, what cha thinking about?" _

_"You're gonna take me to L2 someday, right? I mean, once this is all over." I rolled over and smirked at him. I could see the lake outside the window to our small room, with the midday sunlight glaring off it. Wu-fei was swimming in the lake, and Trowa and Quatre had gone earlier for a walk in the lazy afternoon. It was still unsettling to see all of us relaxing, but I looked back over at Heero, who was staring at the ceiling with his eyes half closed, and it felt that as if this peace was, for once, real.. _

_"You went there once though," I reminded him. _

_"That was just to get supplies, and we spent most of the time in hiding, so…that doesn't count. I want to see the church where you grew up." I laughed then and put my hands behind my head. _

_"That's long gone. I'm sure it's been torn down years ago." _

_"But you don't know?" He rolled over to look me in the eyes now, brushing my bangs out of my face. I smiled and kissed him gently. _

_"No, I don't know. I haven't had time myself to check." _

_"We should check then." He smirked then and rolled on top of me; his hair tickled my nose as he chuckled. "Or we could just stay here forever. I'm comfortable right where I am." _

_"We don't have to move. Just leave a 'do not disturb' sign up and stay in bed for the next week, or two weeks, or a month, or all year! And you know what? We can." _

----------

The beeping beside me rudely pulled me from my dream. I turned over and smacked the clock to the floor, heard it clatter and stop its incessant beeping. Another day, dragging myself into school. I tumbled to the floor myself and staggered to the bathroom. So far, I had survived two weeks of this, not that it was all that bad. Get up, get to work, spend the day at school, head home, and collapse. Jack had shown up at my house a few times to pester me and take advantage of my comfortable living quarters and give me a hard time about being employed at a well paying job, but other than that, there was nothing much eventful that had happened to me.

"It's been a while since I've had any dreams about him though," I said to my reflection in the mirror. "And here I thought I was doing better." I flipped on the small radio next to me and scanned through the stations, hoping to find some music to clear my mind, but it seemed all stations were blaring some sort of message, a pre-programmed computer voice spitting off the same words at every stop. I paused at a station to listen.

"All lines of transportation will be under strict security today in preparation for the arrival of the delegate Relena Peacecraft from the Sanc Kingdom…" I shut off the radio and stared at it blankly for a few minutes. So she…she was in the colony, for some sort of conference, most likely. And if she is here, then, then…

"Goddammit!" I shouted. I threw the radio to the ground and stormed out of the bathroom without even getting a shower. "Calm down Duo. Get breakfast, get dressed, go to work, get through school, and don't even think about it. He's not here, and even if he were he wouldn't recognize me and care to see me again. I've got work, need to get to work…" I started the coffee and pulled out a box of cereal from the cupboard. "And soon there'll be papers to grade." And more of Tonako's writing to read, I reminded myself.

"Tonako, Tonako, Tonako, it's always Tonako!" Sure, he was a good student, a talented writer…and so very much like Heero. Who could be in the colony now, finally on L2…no, he's not. Expecting him to be would only make it worse when I did not find him. I munched on the cereal and watched the clock in the kitchen. I would be early to work this morning, but that gave me enough time to get ready for the first class, which was the one without Tonako in it. It did have his friend, or girlfriend, or whoever she is who follows him everywhere. I stuffed another spoonful of cereal into my mouth before standing up; I was in too tense of a mood to eat.

The buses this morning did have guards inside them, carefully measuring all passengers stepping on and off. As I neared the school the tension seemed even more in the streets. It was always unknown where the diplomats on this colony met, only because they distrusted the people. The bus stopped and I stepped out, looking over the front of the school; there were no students outside, and most of the building looked dark from here, in the early morning light. No surprise, being that I was here far earlier than usual, but I had no reason to linger in my apartment and mope. I strolled down the path to the large double doors and headed into the entrance. Inside, there were a few voices floating on the air, but they seemed to belong to the maintenance crew, not students. I waved to them as I passed them and headed back to my room. Along the hall there were a few more students, there early to finish last minute studying for a test or an overdue paper. Surprisingly, though, when I got to my door I found it already open and a light on in the room. I stepped inside and found Tonako sitting in a desk, bent over his laptop and typing furiously. He did not even look up when I entered the room. I paused in the doorway for just a brief moment, watching the way his hair fell in front of his eyes, before moving to my desk and setting down my papers. I could see most of his face over the laptop screen from where I sat.

"Hello, Tonako," I said. Only then did he look up, with a confused look in his eyes before catching sight of me. He nodded and went back to typing. "If you don't mind me asking, are you working on schoolwork?"

"No," he said. I sighed; small talk was clearly something he disliked. Well then, let's try something else.

"I'm surprised to find you in here. I thought I had locked my door last night." He shrugged.

"You didn't." I laughed then and shuffled through the papers in my bag, finding a notebook with all of my notes for class today. "It was unlocked when I got here."

"Either that, or you unlocked it. But you're here early. Class doesn't start for another forty minutes, you know." He just shrugged.

"I needed to finish some work." I sighed and looked up. He was looking at me now, as if he had been watching my every move before, and I had not noticed his eyes on me. The only person who managed to watch me without my noticing, ever, was Heero. But when I looked at him again, he went back to staring at his laptop screen.

"You could have finished it at home, you know." He shook his head. "And why not?"

"Too busy there. Preparations." He closed his laptop and smirked at me now.

"What for? And especially this early in the morning." He had stood up now and moved to the front of the room. There was some other movement outside of the room, a few more students in the hallways.

"My father is hosting a gathering for the ambassador Relena Peacecraft…" I gripped the pencil I was holding even tighter. Tonako's family was in some way connected to the government, enough to host a party for Relena? "You do know that she is on the colony don't you?"

"How could I have _not_ noticed?" I spat. Then I checked myself and laughed. "Sorry," said, but Tonako just shrugged. He walked back to his desk and got his books. "You don't have class for quite a while."

"I know, but I need to work, and I can't work with you talking to me." I leaned back in my chair and chuckled.

"Hey, I'll shut up if you want." Tonako was already heading out of the door though. "What, did I get you mad? I'm sorry." He shrugged again.

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Maxwell." He closed the door behind him, and I let out a sigh. Well, it was the first conversation with Tonako beyond a few words during class, and what a surprise it was. It almost felt like I had had that conversation before, maybe different words, but all the same in some way. Maybe it was Tonako's expression, or the way he spoke the words, but something felt so familiar, nagging at the back of my mind.

But before I could find myself walking down that path of memories, a teacher entered the room. She had been working at the school for quite a while, but was still young; I think she taught one of the Latin classes. I had seen her in passing once in the hallway, but had not met her just yet.

"Thought I'd stop by to say hello, Mr. Maxwell. I'm Sara." She stuck out her hand, and I shook it, smiling at her. "I know what it's like to be a new teacher here. I've taught for a while, but not so long I've forgotten what it's like. So, if there's anything you need help with, I was just going to say you can come ask me. I know this place can be a little…intimidating at first."

"Oh, no, I can find my way around fine enough," I said, laughing. Sara laughed and shook her head.

"That's not what I meant. I meant the students." She glanced around almost nervously. "I mean, I know you've been here a week, but have you noticed something different about them? It's just that feeling that they think they have control." I raised my eyebrows and shrugged.

"I haven't had that problem just yet."

"Probably because you're new. In a little while it might be different. They think they own the world because these are the kids whose parents own L2." She glanced around the room again, searching for any crack or crevice that could leak this conversation to the outside world. "Not only that, but often as a sort of 'rite of passage' for new teachers they invite them to their lavish parties. And we can't do anything about it. Because these people control everything on L2, and any false move to tarnish the name of the children, and the parents will send all their resources at us to destroy us." Sara looked back at me and smiled, but I could not help myself and stifled a laugh.

"You have to be kidding. I mean, come on! I've taught at some shitty places but nothing was ever that bad. Anyway, I'll just have some sort of prior engagement." Sara shook her head.

"You don't understand, do you? Their parents are the structure of L2. And so they have all of the colony at their disposal, almost. The entire place is so corrupt."

"Yes, but that has nothing to do with the children."

"You just don't understand. We'll all be crushed under that, and not only that, but they might shut down this school and everything. They haven't yet, but we've had more teachers mysteriously disappear after a year or half a year or so because of this than you can imagine. The whole colony is so corrupt."

"No shit," I grumbled. She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow. "You think I couldn't tell? Sure, I've been here for a week, but yeah I could tell. And somehow, I just can't believe you about all of that." She just shrugged.

"You're loss." Then, she smiled. "But onto better things. How do you like the school so far?" I grinned and shrugged.

"Not sure now! Damn, I don't think I'll ever get used to this place. But I like teaching here. The students are actually a lot nicer than you seem to think. You're just going about it the wrong way." Sara gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I hope you're right. Well, I've got to go. I have a class to prepare for." She left the room quickly, glancing back at the doorway and smiling at me once more. She did not appear to be a bad person, not the norm of the school's employees. Though her warning did perplex me. I pondered it while reading over notes for today's class. Surely students, no matter how powerful their family was, could not get away with that. There was no way it was even feasible. Though, if it were true, it was a frightening idea. I shook my head and laughed.

"Hell no that wouldn't happen." I chocked her warning up to her being overly cautious and continued readying myself for the day's class.

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"Dammit!" I breathed as I rushed towards the classroom, wondering briefly if all teachers were this worried when they were late for their own class. Yes, they looked composed and as if their delayed appearance was all planned, but what was it actually like? Did they rush from the bathroom to the room like this and then brush it off by saying they were running off papers? I rounded the final corner to the room and saw that most of the students were inside. There was only one lingering outside, waiting for me to enter the room while stealing a little extra time with his girlfriend.

"Come on you two. Time for class," I said, smiling. I entered the room and shut the door part of the way, peeking out long enough to see them exchange a quick kiss in the hall. "And I saw that," I said. The girl rushed off and the boy turned around, blushing slightly. "Ah, don't worry 'bout it. I can turn a blind eye." Especially for him. He and his friends often hung out in my room during their free time and after school, and were not bad. He slipped into the room and walked to his seat in the back before pulling out his laptop. I took my eyes off him and scanned my class. They had settled down now that I was in the room and saw me reaching into my bag for papers.

"Allrighty class, since we've finished a few short stories, I think we should have our own go at writing them." Before the groans could start, I held up the stack of papers. "You see these? Your old teacher left these for this unit. Now, tell me if ya want to do these: write a character sketch about a person in your life, what was your most memorable day and write about it, blah, blah, blah. So?" There was a chorus of complaint from the students. I glanced back to Tonako, but he was still silent, though his eyes traced my every move. He blinked a few times and shook his head but kept his eyes on me. "Okay, that's decided." I ripped the papers in two and threw them in the trash. "Let's leave it open-ended. Write about whatever you want. Now, I don't want a novel or anything, but more than just a few pages. This is an advanced class and all." A girl near the front raised her hand.

"Are you sure we should be doing short stories before essays?" I laughed.

"You've been writing essays all year. _And_ I have copies of those, so no worries at all. I know what your writing is, whether that's a good thing or not." There was a few snickers around the room. "Okay then, I'll be giving you class time for this week to work on stories, ask me questions, everything. So, I expect these to be done in one week. You'll have all of class, plus extra time to work on them." And now time for the barrage. I expected the complaints, the number of tests coming up, everything else these children could complain about. But there was just silence, until it was Tonako who raised his hand.

"The teachers have called this weekend a no homework weekend, with so many students caught up in activities due to ambassador Peacecraft's arrival." I felt myself bristling.

"Well, then, should I move the due date?" Most of the students, in a clamor suggested days to move it to. I sighed and held both of my hands high. "Come on, gimme some time to think!" I let my blood calm and cursed myself; even the mention of her name still got me, and for some reason, looking at the way Tonako smirked at me, he had picked up on this. "Okay, I won't give you all of this week in class to work on it, but I will move it to the end of next week, and will give you most of the days in class to work on it. That good?" They pondered this, then a few nodded. "Good, now time to get to work. I have paper here, or write on your computers, if you wish. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me." I sat back in my chair and pulled some paper out my bag. It was lessons plans for this week, but I quickly found myself doodling on the side of it, and quick sketch of a man with messy hair, messy bangs in front of eyes. I quickly scratched through the drawing though, turning my attention to the plans, only to find myself drawing him once more.

"Mr. Maxwell?" I looked up, scrambling to cover up the drawing and saw Tonako standing above me. "I have a few stories already written. So do I need to write a new one?"

"I think you should write one. I mean, you can turn in whatever one you want, but at least write one now. Come on, Tonako, it's not that hard."

"I'll write it," he said. He strolled back to his seat, _something Heero would never do_. Would he have, though, if he had not been trained for as long as he could remember to fight, have perfectly controlled movements at all times. I found myself caught in watching Tonako for any of Heero's smooth, precise movements, but before I could get caught in him another student walked to the desk with more questions.

The class slipped by in much this manner until the bell rang. Students rushed out, as it was now their lunch period, a strange time when normal children turned to savages, even at this school, scrambling to either buy the fresher food or finish their own lunch in the short time allotted for lunch. I noticed the girl from before carefully slip through the outgoing crowd to meet her boyfriend again. I hid a smile at the sight of them; I almost never saw them apart, except during class. They left, an arm around each other, and I slung my own bag over my shoulder. Only Tonako was left in the room.

"Not a bad artist, Mr. Maxwell," he whispered as we left the room.

"You're not a bad slacker either, Tonako." He started. "Yeah, you thought I didn't notice. You didn't type a single word all class. I actually take note of that, you know." I strode off before he could say anything, feeling smug about my victory. The slight fear in his eyes gave me such a thrill, seeing I had broken through that mask of his. I turned around then, and saw Tonako watching me. I waved to him, and his eyes narrowed. He stormed down the hall and around a corner. Tonako would not forgive me for that; I wagered no other teacher had mentioned his behavior to him, but I was almost certain that he behaved that way in every class. It was only after that I realized I had started a war.

"Oh well, it's at least something to do." A group of girls turned to look at me after having been whispering harshly to each other. "Oh, nothing, don't worry about it." I laughed, and they gave a few short giggles, but I was long gone down the other end of the hall.

I always brought some sort of lunch, or, if I had left the house in too much of a hurry, just did not eat. I dared never brave the lunch room, even though teachers were encouraged to eat there, "mingle" with the students instead of eating in the comfort of the teacher's lounge. Most days I avoided both and walked along the nature path, back behind the back of the school. No one else even seemed to use it, and it let me have a little peace in the day, something I knew I did not need but so desperately wanted. And after a weekend of thinking, I wanted nothing more than the mindless tasks that kept me going. I could even say I enjoyed teaching here, as surprising as that seemed. Teaching older students was more of a challenge, but an enjoyable battle.

"Speaking of battles…" I said. I sat down against the building, with trees around me, and laughed. That glint in Tonako's eyes told me he was not going to rest until he could make my life miserable for even pointing out that he would dare misbehave in class. "It's gonna be wild."

"Someone back here?" I heard someone say. I glanced up. Coming down the path was a man I had never seen before. He was middle-aged, dressed in a dirty collared shirt and jeans. He had blondish colored hair and darker skin, and was considerably taller than I was. He pushed a wheelbarrow in front of him. "Oh, hello. I've never seen anyone back on this path. This is a surprise. Hey, hold on…Duo!" The man put down the wheelbarrow and rushed towards me. "Hey, man, it's me, Richard! Duo, hell I haven't seen you in years." I stood up myself as he launched my way and caught me in a hug.

"Oof, hey, good to see you! It's _has _been years." Richard laughed and stepped back a little. "I'm amazed you recognized me."

"I'd know your face anywhere, and your…you hair? Turn around." I turned in a circle, revealing the short pony tail behind my head instead of the braid. "You've changed a hell of a lot. Damn, last time I saw you, you were still over in the slums."

"Yeah, and so were you. What brought you here?"

"They wanted a gardener, I needed employment, and I actually knew something about plants. And what about you?" He pulled on my tie. "Looks like you've got yourself a fancy position here."

"I'm a teacher now!" I said, grinning. I put my hands on my hips. "I've moved up to the bottom ladder of the social rung, instead of sitting ten feet below."

"Damn big jump, if you ask me. Hey, so what have you been up to these past few years?" Richard and I had met one night in the streets, when I was still working the streets and he was drunk on the side of the road. He was never a customer, but it was a night when I had found no one, and Richard looked lonely, so I sat down next to him, and we started talking. We talked until morning and became fast friends after that. He started to crash at my apartment, when he was smashed, which ended up being almost every day for the next month. His girlfriend of four years had just dumped him and left the colony completely, and he drank himself into a stupor every night after that. He finally got himself cleaned up a bit, and stopped staying at my place, and since then we had rarely been in contact, but I had always had a soft spot for Richard.

"Oh, not too much. Taught a few other places, before coming here." Richard smiled a large smile and clapped me on the shoulder.

"I'm glad you got off the streets. You were too good for that, and I knew ya would get somewhere, someday." I just laughed and shrugged. We talked a little while longer about the old days in the slums.

"God, I'm glad you're here. All the teachers here have sticks up their asses, and I thought I would go crazy!" I said. He laughed. "But hey, do you come back here often?" He shrugged.

"Only when I have to clean the path, which isn't too often. No one's ever back here." I nodded slowly. "But I'll come back here more now that you're here." He smiled again, a warm smile I rarely saw on him when we were friends. "I've missed ya, you know. I think it's all your doing I ever pulled myself out of the gutter."

"But I bet you're around campus a lot," I mused. An idea had popped into my head, and a small smile was forming on my lips. "There's a student I want you to look out for. His name's Tonako. He's about my height, Japanese, messy black hair that's long, dark brown eyes, thin but muscular…" Richard held up his hand.

"I think I got it. Why you want me to?"

"He's been causing trouble in my class and I want to know what he's doing around school the rest of the day." It was only partially a lie, and Richard bought every word of it. I think he would have bought any excuse I could think of.

"I'll keep an eye out. I always have something to do around the campus, so I'm here every day. Don't worry; I'll report anything out of the ordinary to you."

"Or, just, anything. I'm trying to figure him out, you know." Richard grinned.

"You're a good teacher, Duo. I've never seen anyone this concerned about their students and wanting to connect with them so much." So Richard had always been a little slow, but he was a good man, and I knew I could trust him with this job, and trust him to not say anything about it. "Hey, you doing anything this evening? Maybe we could get together for a few drinks or something…"

"Richard, you know I can't come to school hung over!"

"You don't _have_ to get drunk," he said. I sighed.

"But I don't trust myself to not get drunk. So I'll pass. Maybe this weekend we can head out on the town! Now that we're rich men working at this high class establishment."

"We're rich men? No, I think you're the only rich one here. I'm just a gardener, remember? Speaking of which, I've got a job to do, and so do you. Best not keep you away from class." He picked up his wheelbarrow and waved to me as he walked down the path.

"Talk to you soon!" I shouted. I smirked then and held my head a little higher. Let the war begin.

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Finally an update! Sorry that it was another long delay between updates, and only for this short chapter. But I wanted to get it out before I left on vacation. So the next chapter will just be even longer! And hopefully-I can't make any promises-the delay won't be as long.

This chapter has not been betaed yet, but I will be putting up a betaed version once I get back from vacation. So, if there are any glaring errors you see, feel free to point them out to me.

Hope you liked the chapter and please review!


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